Hello Soccer Mom? Your overloaded minivan--you know the one that is creeping down the highway at 45 miles per hour in the hammer lane? It should be in the friggin' slooooooooooow lane! Just an FYI. Perhaps the next time you are sitting in car line waiting for one of your offspring, you can thumb through the driver's manual and refresh your memory.
Excuse me, Foreign Lady in front of me at the intersection? When the light is a green turn arrow and you are sitting in the turn lane, QUIT MOTIONING OTHER CARS TO TURN RIGHT ON RED---IT IS YOUR FRIGGIN' RIGHT OF WAY! Not sure what right of way is? Get off the roadway until you understand how to drive. Please and thanks!
Yo! Youngster on your cell phone? The light changed from red to green and is now yellow and you are still toying with your phone instead of driving. It's alright....really. I don't mind sitting thru another cycle of lights so you can make sure your buddies know your up to the second Facebook status. BTW, when your car insurance premiums sky rocket I will be ROFL.
Hello, Young Witch with bad hair? Big red octagonal sign? It is called a stop sign for a reason. You arrived last at the 4-way stop yet you rolled right on through the intersection and dared to flip me off when I honked at your poor driving. UP YOURS!
HEY THUGGY PUNK BOY! WHEN I CAN FEEL THE BASS VIBRATING OFF MY CHEST AND YOUR CAR IS TWO LANES OVER FROM ME....YOUR MUSIC (using that word loosely) IS TOO FRIGGIN' LOUD! I AM YELLING SO YOU CAN HEAR ME OVER THE GANGSTER RAP YOU ARE CHILLING TO. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND TAKE OUT STOCK IN HEARING AIDS BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR HOMEBOYS WILL BE NEEDING THEM SOONER THAN YOU THINK.
If you are making a turn, use your signals. All cars are equipped with turn signals so why not use all the accessories that you purchased? Conversely, if you turned 5 minutes earlier, about 2 miles back, then it is okay to turn OFF your signal now.....unless of course you want to be prepared for a turn you MIGHT be making 20 minutes from now.
Hey cigarette smokers! How about using your car ashtray for your butts instead of throwing them out the car window and littering? You never know which of your family members will be wearing orange jumpsuits and cleaning up the mess you left.....
Road rage personified. Glad you aren't on my massage table about now?
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