Monday, January 31, 2011
Quote of the Day
For it is the nature of people to love, then destroy, then love again that which they value most.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Sometimes the Massage Therapist is Touched
Throughout your career you will probably encounter clients who move past the client/therapist barrier to become friends.....friends that you just also happen to massage. Massage Ethics Courses discourage dual relationships and after hours fraternizing. But since I have never been one to compartmentalize or categorize my personal and/or business relationships, I can say without shame that I have several clients that I socialize with and consider friends. Has this warm fuzzy business practice ever caused me heartache? Most certainly, but anytime you open yourself up to another person, there is always the chance that you could get hurt. Conversely, there is also a chance that you will find someone that touches you in a deeply profound and meaningful way.
One such beautiful client/friend has been visiting my clinic for over a year now. After a very short time we became incredibly comfortable with each other and our massage sessions morphed into what we jokingly refer to as "mutual therapy". What exactly is this mutual therapy? Simply put; I massage her and we talk about our lives. Sometimes she uses me as a sounding board. Sometimes I get my head shrunk. Sometimes we both purge stress. Other times we share positive experiences. Philosophical discussions are always thought-provoking and stimulating. No subject is off limits for us. But come on folks, we are talking about two very opinionated, hormonal women here. Naturally there is more venting than ooey-gooey stuff, but no matter what is said in that treatment room, we both leave the sessions feeling better than when we arrived.
Today was the exception. My friend is relocating to another state with her partner and a geriatric family member. She sat on my massage table and cried as she told me the news. I sat on the table and hugged her while she filled in the details. We still managed to have our mutual therapy session but it began and ended with heavy hearts. We agreed to still chat on the phone regularly and when she comes to town we will have lunch, but our weekly sessions are no more. So rather than be sad that we will not be visiting as often as we would like to, I would like to offer a montage from some of our more memorable chats.....
Vampires are indeed sexy and Eric Northman is way hotter than Edward Cullen. People that wave their fingers over your body while doing funky breathing are forever to be known as airy fairy. Lesbians are easier to live with because you never have to explain PMS and hot flashes-- they feel your pain. Sometimes you have to drop the F bomb to truly emphasize a point. When you take anti-depressants, you are a cheap drunk. If your significant other cheats on you, they should not be surprised when you drive up on a sidewalk to get their attention. That whole stink about a mosque at Ground Zero offending Christians--thinking a few atheists died on 9-11 too and they don't seem to mind. Definition of irony: An asshole named Buddy. Chewing someone out is a good start at getting rid of your anger, but slicing a few tires can be quite satisfying as well.
Thanks for being my friend E! And YOU can hug me.....just don't tell anyone that I have a soft side.
One such beautiful client/friend has been visiting my clinic for over a year now. After a very short time we became incredibly comfortable with each other and our massage sessions morphed into what we jokingly refer to as "mutual therapy". What exactly is this mutual therapy? Simply put; I massage her and we talk about our lives. Sometimes she uses me as a sounding board. Sometimes I get my head shrunk. Sometimes we both purge stress. Other times we share positive experiences. Philosophical discussions are always thought-provoking and stimulating. No subject is off limits for us. But come on folks, we are talking about two very opinionated, hormonal women here. Naturally there is more venting than ooey-gooey stuff, but no matter what is said in that treatment room, we both leave the sessions feeling better than when we arrived.
Today was the exception. My friend is relocating to another state with her partner and a geriatric family member. She sat on my massage table and cried as she told me the news. I sat on the table and hugged her while she filled in the details. We still managed to have our mutual therapy session but it began and ended with heavy hearts. We agreed to still chat on the phone regularly and when she comes to town we will have lunch, but our weekly sessions are no more. So rather than be sad that we will not be visiting as often as we would like to, I would like to offer a montage from some of our more memorable chats.....
Vampires are indeed sexy and Eric Northman is way hotter than Edward Cullen. People that wave their fingers over your body while doing funky breathing are forever to be known as airy fairy. Lesbians are easier to live with because you never have to explain PMS and hot flashes-- they feel your pain. Sometimes you have to drop the F bomb to truly emphasize a point. When you take anti-depressants, you are a cheap drunk. If your significant other cheats on you, they should not be surprised when you drive up on a sidewalk to get their attention. That whole stink about a mosque at Ground Zero offending Christians--thinking a few atheists died on 9-11 too and they don't seem to mind. Definition of irony: An asshole named Buddy. Chewing someone out is a good start at getting rid of your anger, but slicing a few tires can be quite satisfying as well.
Thanks for being my friend E! And YOU can hug me.....just don't tell anyone that I have a soft side.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Hurts So Good
People get massage for many different reasons. Some like Swedish massage for relaxation. Some like hot stones for the deep penetrating heat. Some like therapeutic massage to iron out the kinks. If clients are not there strictly for relaxation or they ask for specific treatment for pain relief, the chances are there will be some discomfort at one point or another in their massage session. Bodywork that targets painful areas is generally considered therapeutic massage. Therapeutic massage should not be an unpleasant or overly painful experience. It should be what I like to call a "good hurt".
So what exactly is a good hurt? I like to explain it as how the body should feel after a nice workout session and I don't mean the "no pain, no gain" kind. The muscles should feel like they have been stretched and moved in a positive way. There should be a slight ache when the muscles are engaged and although it is not truly painful, it is not exactly comfortable either. Clients should be aware of what muscle the therapist is working and clients that receive regular bodywork can usually work with the therapist and feel the physical release as the muscle relaxes.
Now, how does the therapist know if they are at the good hurt level or if they have went too far? Communicating with clients is essential. Check in with the client to see if your pressure feels good or if you need to adjust or modify your treatment. Ask if they feel like they need more or less pressure. Ask if you need to back out or if they want to continue. Encourage the client to speak up at any time if they are uncomfortable and explain what you are doing in terms the client will understand.
Watch for physical cues as well. If the body tenses or the client holds their breath, it most likely is associated with pain. If you see fingers and toes curl or the client grimaces, these are also good indicators that the client is experiencing discomfort. As you are working, encourage the client to breathe through the deeper work and to try to relax as much as possible so that you keep the client's focus on healing instead of pain. Announcing strokes that you think might be semi-painful allows the client to prepare for the possibility of pain and helps maintain their overall relaxation. When the client is not relaxed and subsequently leaves the good hurt zone, their pain receptors will respond automatically and attempt to alleviate the pain. At this point the body works against the therapist and massage can possibly do more harm than good. An example of this is the trigger point therapist that leaves bruises on the client.
A good therapist knows that the good hurt is not for everyone and sometimes we have to glide on over that golf ball-sized knot even though every fiber in our body is begging to drop an elbow. We need to be mindful that one person's idea of a good hurt can be very different from others and that the most we can do is be present and focused on our client's desires as well as their needs. Then armed with this wisdom, let us follow the words of John Mellencamp.....Come on baby, make it hurt so good.
So what exactly is a good hurt? I like to explain it as how the body should feel after a nice workout session and I don't mean the "no pain, no gain" kind. The muscles should feel like they have been stretched and moved in a positive way. There should be a slight ache when the muscles are engaged and although it is not truly painful, it is not exactly comfortable either. Clients should be aware of what muscle the therapist is working and clients that receive regular bodywork can usually work with the therapist and feel the physical release as the muscle relaxes.
Now, how does the therapist know if they are at the good hurt level or if they have went too far? Communicating with clients is essential. Check in with the client to see if your pressure feels good or if you need to adjust or modify your treatment. Ask if they feel like they need more or less pressure. Ask if you need to back out or if they want to continue. Encourage the client to speak up at any time if they are uncomfortable and explain what you are doing in terms the client will understand.
Watch for physical cues as well. If the body tenses or the client holds their breath, it most likely is associated with pain. If you see fingers and toes curl or the client grimaces, these are also good indicators that the client is experiencing discomfort. As you are working, encourage the client to breathe through the deeper work and to try to relax as much as possible so that you keep the client's focus on healing instead of pain. Announcing strokes that you think might be semi-painful allows the client to prepare for the possibility of pain and helps maintain their overall relaxation. When the client is not relaxed and subsequently leaves the good hurt zone, their pain receptors will respond automatically and attempt to alleviate the pain. At this point the body works against the therapist and massage can possibly do more harm than good. An example of this is the trigger point therapist that leaves bruises on the client.
A good therapist knows that the good hurt is not for everyone and sometimes we have to glide on over that golf ball-sized knot even though every fiber in our body is begging to drop an elbow. We need to be mindful that one person's idea of a good hurt can be very different from others and that the most we can do is be present and focused on our client's desires as well as their needs. Then armed with this wisdom, let us follow the words of John Mellencamp.....Come on baby, make it hurt so good.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Too Hot to Handle
When I work with clients, I use natural oil blends that are gently scented with essential oils. My oils have various aromatherapy properties and in most cases the client does not need to wash them off as they are absorbed into the skin to give additional moisturizing treatments. Occasionally I use Tiger Balm on my clients. Tiger Balm is an herbal ointment remedy from Asia that has been used as a pain reliever for many generations.
Tiger Balm deeply penetrates the body, warms the tissue by promoting blood flow to the area, and produces mild pain relief. The healing properties are amazing. The scent, not so much. Unless of course you are into cloves and menthol. If the scent does not appeal to you, the good news is that it does not last very long.
I sell Tiger Balm at my clinic. I advise my clients that when they apply the ointment they should be mindful that there is a time delay before the ingredients kick in and start to heat up the underlying tissue of the body. I also tell them that they should be aware that hand washing is very important when you use Tiger Balm and that a little goes a long way.
Last week a client bought some Tiger Balm at the local co-op so he did not get to hear my speech about the precautions one should take when using this product. Needless to say, this fellow did not wash his hands after the application. The term hot sausage took on a whole new meaning.......
Tiger Balm deeply penetrates the body, warms the tissue by promoting blood flow to the area, and produces mild pain relief. The healing properties are amazing. The scent, not so much. Unless of course you are into cloves and menthol. If the scent does not appeal to you, the good news is that it does not last very long.
I sell Tiger Balm at my clinic. I advise my clients that when they apply the ointment they should be mindful that there is a time delay before the ingredients kick in and start to heat up the underlying tissue of the body. I also tell them that they should be aware that hand washing is very important when you use Tiger Balm and that a little goes a long way.
Last week a client bought some Tiger Balm at the local co-op so he did not get to hear my speech about the precautions one should take when using this product. Needless to say, this fellow did not wash his hands after the application. The term hot sausage took on a whole new meaning.......
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Snow Dance
For some unknown reason I regress back to being a 10 year old when there is snow in the forecast. I open the blinds so I can keep a sharp watch out for that first snowflake. I check the forecast with eager anticipation. Then I perform a ritual of mine known as the snow dance, my calling upon the sky for snow showers. Those of you who have never been unfortunate enough to witness this bizarre practice of mine should try to envision Jim Morrison doing his shaman dance and you will get a pretty good idea of what I would like my snow dance to resemble. Alas I have not mastered the hippie coolness that Mr Mo Jo Rison personifies, so my dance looks a bit like a River Dancer having a seizure. But I figure if you have already committed yourself to doing a snow dance then it probably won't matter if spectators think you look like the village idiot. In my case it doesn't.
You might wonder why exactly that I do the dance. I snow dance for a couple of reasons. First reason being that I like to stay young at heart and there is nothing like a goofy dance to keep youth alive. Secondly, I like to reach out with that one ounce of my Native American blood and call to nature like my ancestors did. I know you are probably thinking that they danced for rain and that snow was not something that people living in tepees were excited to see, but I like to imagine there was some young Indian maiden that looked forward to a blanket of white magic. In the serenity of watching the snowfall I can almost picture her dancing.
So if you are watching the snow fall and grumbling that the kids are out of school.....again, reflect on how you are warm, fed and sheltered. The white stuff is going to be around for a while so we might as well enjoy it. Today, after you do your duty as a good Southerner and dash out to buy the milk and bread, why not do the snow dance and let your inner child marvel at this gorgeous winter wonderland?
You might wonder why exactly that I do the dance. I snow dance for a couple of reasons. First reason being that I like to stay young at heart and there is nothing like a goofy dance to keep youth alive. Secondly, I like to reach out with that one ounce of my Native American blood and call to nature like my ancestors did. I know you are probably thinking that they danced for rain and that snow was not something that people living in tepees were excited to see, but I like to imagine there was some young Indian maiden that looked forward to a blanket of white magic. In the serenity of watching the snowfall I can almost picture her dancing.
So if you are watching the snow fall and grumbling that the kids are out of school.....again, reflect on how you are warm, fed and sheltered. The white stuff is going to be around for a while so we might as well enjoy it. Today, after you do your duty as a good Southerner and dash out to buy the milk and bread, why not do the snow dance and let your inner child marvel at this gorgeous winter wonderland?
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Working Thru It
Sometimes when I am stressed out or feeling less than perky, it can be difficult to do my job. My goal is to give my clients a relaxing and therapeutic treatment, but staying focused on the needs of others can be a challenge when you are having an internal war with your own emotions or your body is reminding you that you need a turn on the old massage table. In massage school, we were taught to "be present" and "grounded". So what exactly does this mean?
Being present and grounded means you are focusing on the client, clearing your mind of all those stressful detractors, opening yourself up to feeling the body on your table and sensing what your client needs. On a normal and stress-free day this is easy to do. When you are worrying about a loved one, feeling a muscle cramp in your neck, or fretting about how you are going to pay that mountain of bills on your desk, being present can be more difficult. Sometimes it is just plain impossible to give your client the undivided attention and nurturing touch that they are paying you for. So now you have an ethical dilemma. Should you go to work because you need to earn a living and hope that your anxiety and stress do not come through in your touch? Or should you take a mental health day and try to get yourself in a better place so you can give your clients your best work?
Far too many massage therapists go to work when they are in pain and many others will go to work when they are feeling ill because they need to make money. I am lucky that I can take time off and rely on my co-workers to pick up my slack, but early in my career, when I was single and working alone, I had to work whether I was feeling up to it or not. As a matter of fact, the only time that I ever called in sick was if I was feverish or thought I might be contagious. I worked through exhaustion and pain and an odd thing happened......I realized that I was still able to be present and focused on my client's needs.
When I reported to work feeling drained or headachey, I found that I left feeling much better than when I arrived at work. My best guess was that I was sharing positive energy with my clients and it benefited us both. When I worked despite my inner angst, depression or agitation, I found that by being conscious of my own problems I took extra care in being gentle with my clients and in turn gave them some of the most relaxing massages I had ever given. When I had pain in my body, I was able to focus my attention on my client's pain and relate better with them on how to feel better.
Will this work for all therapists? Only you can make that determination, but don't write off your own baggage as a reason to not work. Instead, think about how Mozart channeled his suffering into some of the most amazing music ever written. Your own suffering could turn out to be a great catalyst for reaching into your soul and truly sharing yourself in an entirely new, positive and healthy way.
Being present and grounded means you are focusing on the client, clearing your mind of all those stressful detractors, opening yourself up to feeling the body on your table and sensing what your client needs. On a normal and stress-free day this is easy to do. When you are worrying about a loved one, feeling a muscle cramp in your neck, or fretting about how you are going to pay that mountain of bills on your desk, being present can be more difficult. Sometimes it is just plain impossible to give your client the undivided attention and nurturing touch that they are paying you for. So now you have an ethical dilemma. Should you go to work because you need to earn a living and hope that your anxiety and stress do not come through in your touch? Or should you take a mental health day and try to get yourself in a better place so you can give your clients your best work?
Far too many massage therapists go to work when they are in pain and many others will go to work when they are feeling ill because they need to make money. I am lucky that I can take time off and rely on my co-workers to pick up my slack, but early in my career, when I was single and working alone, I had to work whether I was feeling up to it or not. As a matter of fact, the only time that I ever called in sick was if I was feverish or thought I might be contagious. I worked through exhaustion and pain and an odd thing happened......I realized that I was still able to be present and focused on my client's needs.
When I reported to work feeling drained or headachey, I found that I left feeling much better than when I arrived at work. My best guess was that I was sharing positive energy with my clients and it benefited us both. When I worked despite my inner angst, depression or agitation, I found that by being conscious of my own problems I took extra care in being gentle with my clients and in turn gave them some of the most relaxing massages I had ever given. When I had pain in my body, I was able to focus my attention on my client's pain and relate better with them on how to feel better.
Will this work for all therapists? Only you can make that determination, but don't write off your own baggage as a reason to not work. Instead, think about how Mozart channeled his suffering into some of the most amazing music ever written. Your own suffering could turn out to be a great catalyst for reaching into your soul and truly sharing yourself in an entirely new, positive and healthy way.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Year Resolutions
I have never been one of those people that likes to make resolutions because resolutions are akin to rules and we all know rules are made to be broken. I might try to persuade myself that resolutions are self-imposed, but beneath the pretty package it still smacks of rules to my rebel heart. Please don't get the wrong idea about me--I am a law-abiding citizen for the most part. Except for my lead foot. I tend to think speed limits are more of a guideline, if you will. And seatbelts. I am of the opinion that if motorcyclists do not have to wear helmets, then I should not have to wear a seatbelt. So yeah, I find resolutions, like some traffic laws, are a tad stifling on Life's Highway.
Besides my bucking the authority attitude, I also think making resolutions is setting oneself up for failure and since most resolutions begin on the first day of the year, it sets a depressing tone for the new year when you are unable or unwilling to stick to your resolution(s). How many times have you said you were going on a diet and then X amount of days later you binge? Start an exercise program only to skip a day, a few days, a week or so and then lapse back into your former couch potato self? Say you are going to lose weight but do not make the sacrifices necessary to achieve your weight loss goal? So if you are overweight, out of shape and essentially not in the body you desire to be, why add unrealistic goals to your resume of gloom and doom? Do you really think you will feel better when you add "I'm a failure" to the list of things you want to change about yourself? Not me! My philosophy is to keep things simple.
When I set my diet goals, I set goals that are relatively easy to follow. If I fall off the wagon and eat something that is not good for me, instead of beating myself up I savor each morsel of that forbidden fruit. I also apply my own mathematic equations to counting calories. You know how when you multiply any number with zero, the answer is always zero? I figure if I drink a Diet Coke which has zero calories and multiply that times a donut, mathematically there should be no calories and thus said diet is still intact.
When I lament how I am getting a spare tire around my middle, I go to Golden Corral and marvel at how thin I am in comparison with a great many diners/grazers of this fine establishment. Sure, I will do a few crunches and sit-ups but I can rationalize that I am middle-aged and a grandmother so I am not expected to look like a super model......heck, not even an underwear model for Wal-mart. Great body image? Hardly, but I am not so upset about my figure that I am willing to give up sweets in favor of celery sticks. So what is a gal to do? Accept that gravity is not a friend to those of us over forty and appreciate the laugh lines when I chuckle at myself in the mirror.
This year why not resolve to be unresolved? It might be the most stress-free year EVER.... or this time next year we might end up joining Jenny Craig and Fitness Plus for the group rate .
Besides my bucking the authority attitude, I also think making resolutions is setting oneself up for failure and since most resolutions begin on the first day of the year, it sets a depressing tone for the new year when you are unable or unwilling to stick to your resolution(s). How many times have you said you were going on a diet and then X amount of days later you binge? Start an exercise program only to skip a day, a few days, a week or so and then lapse back into your former couch potato self? Say you are going to lose weight but do not make the sacrifices necessary to achieve your weight loss goal? So if you are overweight, out of shape and essentially not in the body you desire to be, why add unrealistic goals to your resume of gloom and doom? Do you really think you will feel better when you add "I'm a failure" to the list of things you want to change about yourself? Not me! My philosophy is to keep things simple.
When I set my diet goals, I set goals that are relatively easy to follow. If I fall off the wagon and eat something that is not good for me, instead of beating myself up I savor each morsel of that forbidden fruit. I also apply my own mathematic equations to counting calories. You know how when you multiply any number with zero, the answer is always zero? I figure if I drink a Diet Coke which has zero calories and multiply that times a donut, mathematically there should be no calories and thus said diet is still intact.
When I lament how I am getting a spare tire around my middle, I go to Golden Corral and marvel at how thin I am in comparison with a great many diners/grazers of this fine establishment. Sure, I will do a few crunches and sit-ups but I can rationalize that I am middle-aged and a grandmother so I am not expected to look like a super model......heck, not even an underwear model for Wal-mart. Great body image? Hardly, but I am not so upset about my figure that I am willing to give up sweets in favor of celery sticks. So what is a gal to do? Accept that gravity is not a friend to those of us over forty and appreciate the laugh lines when I chuckle at myself in the mirror.
This year why not resolve to be unresolved? It might be the most stress-free year EVER.... or this time next year we might end up joining Jenny Craig and Fitness Plus for the group rate .
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