Neti Pots---Scarier Than They Were

OKAY I NOW HAVE ANOTHER REASON TO AVOID STICKING A TEAPOT IN MY NOSTRIL!

By The Associated Press
Fri, Dec 16, 2011

Louisiana health regulators warned residents Tuesday about the dangers of using neti pots improperly. A neti pot, which looks like a genie's lamp, is commonly used to irrigate sinuses. The Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals issued its warning following a second death this year caused by Naegleria fowleri, the so-called brain-eating amoeba.
A 51-year-old DeSoto Parish woman died after using tap water in a neti pot to irrigate her sinuses and became infected by the deadly amoeba, which entered the body through her nose. In June, a 20-year-old St. Bernard Parish man died under the same circumstances.
10 Cold & Flu Remedies That Work

Safe Neti Pot Use

"If you are irrigating, flushing, or rinsing your sinuses, for example, by using a neti pot, use distilled, sterile or previously boiled water to make up the irrigation solution," said Louisiana State Epidemiologist, Dr. Raoult Ratard. "Tap water is safe for drinking, but not for irrigating your nose."
It's also important to rinse the irrigation device after each use and leave open to air dry, he said.
The very rare infection typically occurs when people go swimming or diving in warm freshwater lakes and rivers. In very rare instances, health experts said such infections may also occur when contaminated water from other sources, such as inadequately chlorinated swimming pool water or heated tap water less than 116.6 degrees, enters the nose when people submerge their heads or when people irrigate their sinuses with devices such as a neti pot.
5 Health Soups to Warm Your Winter Chill

Be Wary of Symptoms

DHH said the amoeba causes the disease primary amebic meningoencephalitis, a brain infection that leads to the destruction of brain tissue. In its early stages, symptoms may be similar to symptoms of bacterial meningitis and can include headache, fever, nausea, vomiting and stiff neck. Later symptoms include confusion, loss of balance, seizures and hallucinations.
After the start of symptoms, the disease progresses rapidly and usually causes death within one to 12 days.

Holiday Funny

Sammy Catapari

Sammy has the holiday spirit....notice that Santa is lying under the tree and Sam's lil paw is slowly moving toward his next victim.

My Christmas Wish

Beautiful Day

You might ask yourself why I titled this post Beautiful Day.  It is raining and chilly outside with a flood watch for our area.   So why am I smiling?  Two reasons.  North Carolina lost this weekend.  Tarheels can suck it! That beautiful loss moved Kentucky up in the rankings which is directly related to my second reason for extreme happiness.....         

                    UK IS NUMBER ONE BABY!

Heard Today on the Massage Table

Last week I had several clients show up with stiff backs.  The deep tissue massage was not a pleasurable experience.....

"Is that my PAINcreas?"

"And to think I was actually looking forward to this.  DAMN!"

"You could be a wrestler with all that strength.  If I say 'I give', will you let go?"

"Sometimes I could swear you have a knife in your hands."
                            
"I need a massage after my massage!"                           


Thankfully not all my clients left grumbling....

"Have I told you that I love you?"

"I get the oddest sensations in my body when you are working on me, but I can tell that I am feeling better because I have cut way back on my Advil and instead of taking pills I can stretch and get instant relief."

"You know I have to book my massages a month in advance because you are so busy, but I would rather wait for you than get a massage from anyone else."

Like Fine Wine

Aging does not have to be a bad thing.  I mean if you are getting older it beats the alternative...  If you are pushing up daisies it is a tad late to make changes.  Sure, some things that used to set up high and taut might be pointing southward and sagging, but that is just part of the aging process.  While I might grumble about my waistline not being the size it  was in my youth or that my body feels aches and pains after doing chores that used to not make me break a sweat, I am not obsessing about my weight nor am I trying the newest diet fad to correct my perceived imperfections.  Instead I am taking a page from one of my very wise clients who at age 60 made some changes for the better and now at age 70 she has made a few more.

My client told me at age 60 she committed to "fixing" herself.  This fixing included having her eyelids lifted because she thought they made her look too old.  She had surgery on her feet which was somewhat cosmetic but also improved her gait.  Then she bought herself a convertible.  She told me that she used to think sixty sounded so old.....til she arrived there and she knew that she was not going to be an old woman so she did what she could to feel younger.

Last week my client decided seventy was not the age of an old woman and she made a few more changes to improve her health.  She said she was not going to hit golf balls out of sand bunkers anymore.  She started doing yoga because she thought she was too old to take up running.  Then lastly she decided that massage therapy was going to become part of her regular health maintenance.  She told me when she was MUCH younger she had always considered massage an extravagance that had no real health benefits, but her 74 year old gal pal had persuaded her to see me for shoulder pain and she now knew that therapeutic massage was not "just rubbing".

This lovely young at heart lady said she would let me know her new list when she turned eighty. :)

Grammar Matters

Who knew He was holding them hostage????

Massage Humor

Massage Quotes

"Don't ever piss off your massage therapist.  They know many ways to hurt you."  KB


"The hardest massage I ever did was a 90 minute on a midget.  There is just not enough body to fill the time."


Client:  Have you ever hurt anyone Kim?

Me:  I may have left a bruise or two on a glut..... but they still rebooked.



Client:  This is better than sex *and* I don't have to put up with my husband.


Client:  That was a life-changing experience!

More Vampire Humor

Sookie?  Are you listening?

Quote of the Day

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness

­ is the attribute of the strong.-- Mahatma Gandhi

Heard Today on the Massage Table

This week I heard some funny stories and thought they were worth sharing.

•    A new client told me that recently she was getting a massage at one of the spas in town and she was really enjoying her massage until the LMT stopped working for several minutes and just held the back of her neck.  The client thought it was odd but did not comment.  Later in the massage the LMT once again stopped massaging and this time held her feet for several minutes.  The client said she opened her eyes and found her therapist nodding off to sleep.  She watched the therapist's head jerk a few times and then asked if she was asleep.  The therapist said "No!  I'm just holding a pressure point." 

              ~And here I thought the object was to relax the client....

•    A fellow massage therapist was interviewing for a job and was taken aback by a story about a therapist who previously worked in the clinic.  Before starting the massage, the therapist (using that word loosely) took a patient outside and had them reach up and touch the limbs in a nearby tree so they could take in the tree's energy.  

        ~Oddly enough my friend was being interviewed to replace the tree hugger.....

• In my clinic we have 4 treatment rooms and one of the rooms is rented by a skincare/waxing specialist.  When I walked into my lobby yesterday I overheard a lady with a very loud voice tell the wax lady "HE WANTS A LANDING STRIP".

           ~And you thought my office was quiet and peaceful.......

Wise Words

Hoops Humor

GO CATS!

Quote of the Day

Suppose there was one day every year that it was legal to snuff out your significant other......I wonder how many Facebook users would be changing their relationship status to SINGLE as they watched their partner circle the drain.~KB

The Many Splendors of Boobs

  I found this article on Huffington Post and thought it was funny! ~KB

By the time a woman reaches the age of 50 in America, she has heard just about every loveable, awful, demeaning, eye-rolling, cute and hysterical term for those two globs of fat that sit on her chest.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so it's a good time to take stock of how to take care of our breasts, ourselves and our sisters who are battling this insidious disease.
In honor of those brave Warriors in Pink whom I know and those I have never met, this is for you. Laughter is the best medicine and hope cannot be prescribed in CCs and IVs. No one ever has the right to take your ability to hope away. So, what's in a name? Well, I'll tell you...

BOSOMS - There is nothing sexy about this term. It's Aunt Fanny in a cotton calico dress. These are the giant pillows that little children lay their heads on at naptime. Their two-car garage, boulder holder is most likely a Double D white cotton Woolworth's bra or more complicated girdle-like pre-Spanx contraption. Bosoms are way more than a handful, no longer springy and probably covered with baby powder or enough perfume to air freshen a room.

CLEAVAGE - OK, you're right, cleavage isn't typically a term for breast, but it's a preview, a prelude to a kiss. It's the trailer to the movie. Cleavage shows a little leg, it teases and offers a suggestion and the promise of more. But I had to include it. Cleavage is often preceded by the term "ample" and one customarily "sports" it.
HOOTERS - If breasts made noises, men must imagine they would hoot like a horn with joy. Perhaps that's how this mystifying nickname came into vogue. But alas, like the giraffe on the Serengeti, breasts are silent creatures. The fact that an entire adult restaurant franchise is named Hooters (and their logo is an owl whose eyes are two boobs with nipples) lets you know just how fun AND wise-like-an-owl this slang word is. Hooters connote the sexy librarian who takes off her glasses, lets her bun down and unbuttons her shirt. You go in for chicken wings and beer and end up with a face full of hooters! This is party city baby. If you're hootin' and hollerin' around, this is the term for you. No AA cups need apply.
BREASTS - An anatomically correct term for those globs of fat that sit on our chests. It's more delicate, like a wide champagne glass. "Breast" says classy, manageable. You can say breast in public. Hell you can ORDER chicken breast in a restaurant. It's acceptable without being clinical or denigrating. Breasts are the Limoges demitasse cups of the coffee world.
TITS - This is farm animal territory. It's two steps away from teats, a word that makes me shudder. I picture a cow's udders hooked up to hoses. Tit is a rough and service oriented term. It might also apply to that stage of motherhood where nursing Moms under extreme sleep deprivation believe they may actually now BE Bessie the Cow. And for the men who are too lazy to make their women feel loved and respected, this is the term for you. Good luck getting a home-cooked meal.
BOOBS - This word says sorority girl collegial and locker room cheerful. Boob just sounds fun, bouncy, no strings attached. Boobs don't have brains; they are ninnies, all harmless window dressing. It's a word you can write and say backwards or forwards. And fun, fun -- yes, even men can have boobs too! (Increasingly known as "moobs" which is short for man-boobs) The ambiguously ambidextrous quality of the word makes it a very safe and PC term in public.
RACK - This is flat out a dude's term, most often associated with hunting or butcher's cuts of meat. I think of "rack" as in lamb, the small defenseless baby animal that gets slaughtered at springtime. This is a gun-slingers term but Rack also goes with "rack and pinion steering," making it a mechanical term too. This nickname says "I'm gonna pull out some tools and tinker under the hood to get this baby running." Be afraid. And make sure he washes his hands.
TATAs - Kind of a nice way to messa 'round. This is a breezy, rapper, sing-songy word. It should have a dance step named after it. Even a toddler can say it and no one gets hurt. Tata is white bread and white rice soothing, no roughage or fiber to digest. Moreover, the use of simple syllabic names means you can give wide berth to the more clinical and scary anatomical terms that are just plain yucky (cross reference anatomy of the male sex organ). Among men this term is often preceded by the word "bodacious" for some inexplicable reason.
KNOCKERS - Ouch. This one is physical, the kissing cousin to another painful term "Speed Bags." Not good either, think Hulk Hogan. This calls to mind those perplexing old naked granny cartoons in Playboy or Hustler with torpedo shaped mammaries. I also think nostalgically of National Geographic magazine tribeswomen (pre-internet era porn for adolescent boys.) Knockers say, "gravity has taken its toll." It's kind of a caveman term for men at work--not play. Be warned, this is not Olivia Newton John's cheeky "Let's Get Physical." Nothing warm and fuzzy lives in the land of knockers.
THE GIRLS - This term is female retaliation, a smack down at men who, quite perplexingly name their male organs. You know what I'm talking about here, it's the sheer absurdity of pet names like "Big Pete" "Little Winky," "Carlos" and "Darth Vader." This disturbing custom validates the playful "buddy" relationship many men share with their body parts. The Girls is a non-threatening term that connotes comfort with ones own body. Think of the chick flick Bridesmaids and that take-back-the-night lingo that makes us feel all Helen-Reddy-I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar. This is also BFF speak, all cup sizes are welcome here and there's no hint of creepiness or sexism. "I'm taking the girls out tonight," means "I'm going to sport some contour." This is what happens when the old college sweatshirt comes off.
In the interest of brevity, I've left out other classics and potentially denigrating favorites such as jugs, melons, hogans, cans, headlights, fun bags, yabbos and gazongas. And I encourage you to chime in with some suggestions of your own. There's no question that the names for our mammaries are as varied, descriptive and nuanced as the women who own them.
So for every friend- sister- mother- daughter- wife- lover- partner- woman who has removed a lump, gotten a scare, lost a breast, had a mastectomy, taken care of and nurtured someone who has brushed up against the evil of "The Big C" - I salute you. Stay in the race, and keep fighting.

www.leewoodruff.com

 

Quote of the Day

Why do people say "Grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding! -Betty White

Vampire Humor

Anyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE Eric Northman.  He is the 1000 year old Viking vampire in Charlaine Harris'  Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Mysteries.  The HBO series True Blood is loosely based on these books.  Enjoy the eye candy and the humor.

 

“We’re always more than happy to serve humans here at Fangtasia. And I don’t mean for dinner.” ~Eric Northman

Pumpkin Health Benefits

Popular during fall holidays, the pumpkin is one of the most nutritious fruits available. Packed with disease-fighting nutrients, it offers numerous health benefits.

More than just a decorative Halloween candleholder or a pie filling to be eaten only once a year, pumpkin is one of the most nutritional foods available year round. Rich in antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals, both the flesh and seeds of the pumpkin provide many health-boosting nutrients.

Nutrients in Pumpkin

Pumpkin is low in fat and calories and rich in disease-fighting nutrients such as:

• Alpha-carotene
• Beta-carotene
• Fiber
• Vitamins C and E
• Potassium
• Magnesium
• Pantothenic acid

Health Benefits of Pumpkin

The alpha-carotene and beta-carotene are potent antioxidants found in pumpkin and are pro-vitamin A carotenoids, meaning the body converts them to vitamin A. Vitamin A promotes healthy vision and ensures proper immune function. The beta-carotene in pumpkin may also reverse skin damage caused by the sun and act as an anti-inflammatory. Alpha-carotene is thought to slow the aging process and also reduce the risk of developing cataracts and prevent tumor growth. Carotenoids also boost immunity and lessen the risk of heart disease.

Pumpkin is an excellent source of fiber; one-half cup serving contains 5 grams of fiber. Fiber helps reduce bad cholesterol levels, protect the body against heart disease, control blood sugar levels, promote healthy digestion, and plays a role in weight loss.
The vitamin C in pumpkin boosts immunity, reduces the risk of high blood pressure and heart disease, and regulates cholesterol levels. Pumpkin is also a good source of vitamin E which promotes healthy skin by protecting the body from sun damage and may reduce the risk of Alzheimer's disease and certain cancers.
The potassium found in pumpkin aids in balancing fluid levels in the body, promotes strong bones, is necessary for energy production, and helps to control blood pressure. Pumpkin is also rich in magnesium, which aids the body in hundreds of functions, including promoting a healthy immune system, contributing to bone strength, and normalizing heart function. Pantothenic acid, or vitamin B5 is also found in pumpkin. Vitamin B5 help balance hormone levels and manage stress.

Pumpkin Seeds

While pumpkin flesh is nutrient-rich, pumpkin seeds also contain essential vitamins and minerals. Pumpkin seeds are a good source of vitamin E, iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc, and are an excellent plant-based source of omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids.

How to Use Pumpkin

Fresh pumpkins are typically only available during fall and early winter; however, canned pumpkin is just as nutritious as fresh. Fresh pumpkin or canned pumpkin puree can be used to make soups, muffins, breads, puddings, and smoothies. Pumpkin seeds can be eaten as a snack, used to top salads or added to sautéed vegetables. Pumpkin-seed oil can be used in cooking or as a salad dressing.

Massage Boosts Immune System

Would you like a good reason to get massage?  Besides being a relaxing experience, there are many documented benefits of getting regular massage therapy, but during cold and flu season perhaps the biggest benefit is that massage can boost your immune system.  Unlike the immediate relief massage brings to sore muscles and arthritic pain, the effects on the immune system are subtle and develop over time. And while, one massage offers immune system benefits, regular massages show sustained effects when it comes to immune function.

Health Benefits of Massage

• Helps Fight Infection—Massage increases the activity of white blood cells that target and destroy infectious agents. With regular massage, the immune system is strengthened rather than stimulated and it becomes more robust.
• Modulates Immune Function—Massage strengthens the immune system, restoring balance. Massage increases antibody production in immune deficiency and reduces autoantibody production in autoimmune disease.
• Benefits Autoimmune Diseases—Besides reducing autoantibody production, massage reduces the production of pro-inflammatory cytokines, which are responsible for inflammation and pain.
• Reduces Pain in Arthritis---Besides reducing production of pro-inflammatory cytokines such as tumor necrosis factor alpha, massage increases production of anti-inflammatory cytokines, effectively reducing inflammation and pain.
• Reduces Depression—Massage increases the production of both endorphins and serotonin. Increased levels of these biochemicals effectively reduce symptoms of depression and contribute to wellbeing.
• Improved Circulation—By stimulating blood flow to the body’s organs, massage improves circulation. With improved circulation, red blood cells are better able to transport nutrients to the body’s other cells.
• Stimulation of the Lymphatic System—The lymphatic system is comprised of the thymus gland, tonsils, spleen, adenoids, lymph nodes and lymph fluid as well as lymphatic vessels. The lymphatic vessels carry clear lymph fluid that circulates throughout the body, removing waste products, degenerated cells, and accumulations of fats and proteins. Lymph vessels lie beneath the surface of the skin and are stimulated by massage. This results in improved lymphatic circulations.

Physiological Benefits of Massage

• Improves Natural Killer Cell Function—Numerous studies show that massage increases the cytotoxic function of white blood cells known as natural killer (NK) lymphocytes. This results in improved NK cell function including increased resistance to infection.
• Decreases Levels of T-Cells—By decreasing T-cell levels, massage helps restore the natural balance between T and B lymphocytes. This improves the immune system’s ability to produce protective antibodies, for instance antibodies that target infectious agents. Alternately, in autoimmune diseases, a decrease in T-cells helps reduce autoantibody production.
• Increased Endorphin Production—Massage and acupuncture are known to increase production of endorphins and enkephalins. Increased production of these neurotransmitters has a modulating effect on the immune system. Similar to decreased T-cell production, increased endorphins increase the body’s ability to fight infections while improving immune function in autoimmune disease.
• Reduces Pro-Inflammatory Cytokines—Reduces pain and inflammation
• Increased Serotonin Levels—by increasing serotonin levels, massage increases feelings of well-being and alleviates symptoms of depression.

Human touch is nourishment for the body and soul.  Factor in massage and compassion with a healthy diet and plenty of sleep and watch the immune system grow in leaps and bounds.

Super Hero Bad Days

Last night I watched X Men First Class.   Thanks to having two sons and a husband that all grew up reading comics, I have had some exposure to Marvel super heroes and over the years I came to appreciate them.  But last evening as I was watching the movie, I let my mind wander and began to wonder what a bad day would be like for a super hero.  Not the kind where the arch enemy tries to conquer the world, but a regular Joe's version of a bad day.  You know like rush hour traffic?  Jerk boss?  Heartache?  Normal day to day stressors?

Since X Men is foremost on my mind lets explore this possibility with Magneto, the super villain who can control metal objects.  He is not supposed to be likable, but for some reason I really enjoy this character.  Maybe it is the British accent, or how he performs his dastardly deeds with such flair, but for reasons I cannot fathom I find him deliciously entertaining.  Can you imagine how he would handle a bad driver?  I can just see him wrinkling his brow at a punk blasting his rap music and disregarding traffic lights.  With the engine whining, the car stops and floats up above the intersection.  Magneto floats in front of the car, shakes his head and wags his finger at the driver.  When the car starts to compact inward and the driver bails out screaming, Magneto smiles and tells the punk "Next time you will remember to stop, won't you?"

What about Superman being lovesick over Lois Lane?  Do you think he might try to drown his sorrow in a bottle of rum and sit at home in his tights for days without bathing?  If he climbed in a bottle, would he become a mean drunk and use his super powers just to screw with happy couples?  I can see him using his x-ray vision to see what kind of undies the chick had on and advising her date to use protection as she looked like a pro.  Maybe crashing a wedding or two and blowing the steeple off the church or flattening the reception tent thus ruining the happy day would help him release some tension.  He might even flip them off as he flew away.

Lets not forget the female crime fighter Wonder Woman.  Can you imagine what she would be like during PMS?  Maybe she would buzz the airport tower in her invisible plane.  Maybe she could pop into the Whitehouse, use her lasso of truth and make some of those crooked politicians sing like canaries.  When her skin-tight suit was feeling a bit snug due to her retaining water, do you think she would knock over the Hershey's plant, devour 10 lbs of chocolate, put in The Way We Were and have herself a good cry? 

How about Aquaman attacking BP for the gulf disaster? Think about all that extra work BP caused him.   Spiderman weaves SCREW YOU in a web outside his editor's door after his alter ego is forced to listen to his boss's umpteenth Spidey bashing tirade.  Wolverine gets a bad haircut so he practices topiary on his barber.  I mean the possibilities are endless.....if you are warped like me.

So the next time you are having a shitacular day, stop and ask yourself WWSD?

Funny Sign

Blonde Humor

Quote of the Day

“Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can using only their hands and feet make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.”
― Dave Barry

First Data Sucks for Credit Card Processing

The first year I was in business for myself I figured out that it was important to accept credit cards and thus began the quest for the best processor.  I scanned the internet for a few days and comparison shopped for the best rates, contracts, fees and equipment. After some deliberation I opted to go with First Data.  This would be one of the biggest mistakes I ever made and I counted down the years until I could dump them for a better, more honest and trustworthy processor.

On the surface First Data looked fantastic.  They had the cheapest percentage rates and they would supply my terminal at a reasonable monthly lease.  When I contacted a sales rep he was all too happy to walk me through my on-line application.  Verbally he told me that my contract would be for two years.  While I was filling out the application the contract magically changed to three years.  When I questioned this the sales rep assured me that he would change the contract to reflect the term of two years.  As you can guess, this was not the case.  No matter how many letters or phone calls I made (all of which were ignored) the contract was never corrected.

After the first year of hell,  I received a letter advising me of rate increases.  The cheap fees tripled in price on batch fees, transactions, and reports.  The letter stated if I did not agree with the new rates I could write a letter of refusal and they would consider keeping my fees at the same rate.  I returned their letter with my refusal and about a 2 weeks later I received written notification that I had not been a customer long enough to be in a position to refuse and my new fees would go into effect the following week.  The following year my fees went up again and my refusal was ignored for the same reason.  I was also hit with a compliance fee for $160/year.  I found out last year that most companies only charge $75 for PC compliance.  


The next point of contention was when the sales rep put me on the line with a leasing consultant.  The lady on the line identified herself with First Data Global Leasing and she informed me that I had to agree to four years for the terminal lease at $27/month.  After the first year I was also required to carry insurance on the terminal at an additional cost of $4/month....even though it was THEIR property.  What I failed to realize was that First Data and First Data Global Leasing were in fact two different entities.  Silly me!  I thought the lease program was a different division of First Data ......just like they hoped I would.  I found out the truth the first time I called to complain about the differences in years on the contracts.  Again, my complaints were ignored.

Being new and inexperienced in this credit card game, I thought $27/month was a good deal.  Now I know that I could have bought a terminal for about $600 new or $300 used instead of spending $1200 and still never owning the piece of crap.  In fact when I went to cancel my contract at year 3, they forced me to pay $430 more to end my contract a year early AND still return the terminal.

I canceled my accounts with both agencies one year ago and began using Ameribanc for my credit card processing.  So you can only imagine how completely surprised I was when I received a letter from FDGL - last week- informing me that I had a "NON-CANCELABLE" lease and my failure to pay would result in a multitude of ugly collections and credit reporting misery.....oh and they thanked me for my "continued business" in another paragraph.  When I called FDGL the rational part of me knew that the person who answered the phone was not the person responsible for screwing me without giving me a kiss, but the pissed off part of me was who dominated this conversation.  I started out trying to be diplomatic but when she told me the reason I received the letter was because I had never returned the terminal.....the F bomb made a grand entrance and the conversation went south in a hurry.  The call ended with my demanding a letter of satisfaction clearing my account once and for all.  I got the letter today and even though it stated that my lease was paid in full and that I had no further obligation to FDGL, it incorrectly stated that I had opted to keep the equipment.   Shocking that they made yet another mistake isn't it?

Four years later and my contracts have still never been corrected, but thankfully (HOPEFULLY) I am no longer associated with these jerks.  I learned a valuable and very costly lesson with First Data.  I hope this blog entry can save others from making the same mistake.

Mel Gibson

Since I have been resting as much as possible this weekend, I have had loads of time to catch up on my reading and wasting time on television.  The upshot is that I finished The Help and I started reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter, both fine books by the way....and who knew the latter was set in Lexington, Kentucky?  The downside is that I have seen way too many bad movies and that all of my favorite shows are on hiatus.  Soooooo I decided to watch Braveheart for like the bazillionth time.

Is there really such a thing as watching Braveheart too many times?  I think not.  Mel's masterpiece can still elicit tears from me no matter how many times I have seen it.  The music is fantastic.  The lush, green hills and crystal water cinematography warms the soul.  A love story paired with war allows both men and women to enjoy the movie.  Mel with long hair, a kilt and a Scottish brogue....does it get any better than that? 

As I was appreciating this film it made me feel sad for Mel.  He has starred in so many good movies and he has directed some fine things too.  (I know Apocalypto got panned but I liked it!)  But despite all of his genius, Mel will forever be known as the drunk that made nasty comments about Jews and cops and for his fugly relationship with that Euro trash woman.  I know what he said was bad form, but he was intoxicated people!  Who among us has not said something we regretted  the second it flew off our tongues?  Now if we factor in the alcohol magnifying his mouth overdrive while simultaneously slowing the brain gears.....I feel like we should cut him some slack.  That bimbo?  Maybe there was some domestic violence but given her track record for being a gold digging ho.....I do not think I can condemn him for this bad judgement.  I mean we all know when the South Pole gets hard it shuts off a certain amount of blood flow to the North Pole, so he was clearly making decisions with an organ that was not his brain.  Plus, he was married for a long dang time to his wife and the only complaints she had was his drinking problem and his philandering.  I would tend to think if he beat her that the media would have caught wind of it and cheerfully broadcast this news.

Think about it folks.  If Mel Gibson was just an average Joe, we probably would never have heard about any of his failures nor his troubled life.  Being under the microscope is the trade off for his celebrity status.  This can't be easy.  Maybe I am being naive or simply infatuated with this talented, handsome man.....or maybe I realize that he is a mere human who is flawed like the rest of us.  Whatever the reason, I would like to send up this offering to Mr. Gibson:  In the words of William Wallace, "I love ya, I always have."

TGIF

Ever have one of those days?  I have had one of those weeks and I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that my work week is just about over.

I have not been feeling very well for about a week now.  I have never been one to underachieve so why would I settle for getting the every day run of the mill bug?   What started out as allergies, moved into a sinus infection and just yesterday when I returned to the doctor's office to complain that my Z pack was not working.....I was diagnosed with MONO and a nasty ear infection.  So go me!  Not only did the doc give me a new antibiotic--she also scripted me some horrific ear drops.  Let me just say that I can totally relate to my dog now.  I shivered and shook my head when those babies went in my ear canal and tugged on the cotton balls for hours.  Empathy, thy name is Kim.

So the doctor assured me that I was not contagious and could continue working if I wanted.  Well, my first client was okay with seeing me.  The second client--I felt it better to cancel as she just finished a round of chemo and her immune system was weakened.  My next client could not get off the phone fast enough when I explained my situation--like I was transferring that "kissing disease" through the airwaves! 

So with my work load lightened, I decided to tackle defrosting the office mini fridge.  The tiny little freezer section has been growing into a glacier for some time now and was threatening to take over the place.  In lieu of an ice pick I began chipping away with a screwdriver.  This was working great.....right up to the point when I dislodged a rather large chunk of ice and ruptured the coolant doohickey.  My face and chest were  sprayed with freon and thanks to the ice shifting I could not get the damn door closed so I got nice soaking.  So this is me signing off to go buy a new fridge.  TGIFF!

Sharing Massage Clients

Working with your massage therapist spouse can be both rewarding and trying.  Over time most of our difficulties disappeared.....meaning, in our case, he resigned himself to let me make most of the office decisions.  Just kidding....well, sort of.  For the most part we have the same ideas about what we want our clinic to be.  Naturally we have our own styles when it comes to massage therapy.  We both prefer doing real therapy over general relaxation massage and we both apply science and anatomy into formulating treatment plans for our clients.  I tend to be more laid back and he tends to be more clinical, but we both shoot for professional.  Our styles attract different client bases, but sometimes we recognize that what the client needs might be better served by a different therapist. 

Luckily for us, we can refer our clients to each other if we determine the client needs a different area of expertise.  If you ask a massage therapist what they think their strongest modality or best treatment is they will generally be able to tell you what they have the most success treating and how they do it.  Hubby has a great reputation with the running and/or marathon crowd and he has a great deal of knowledge about TMJ issues due to his working in the dental field for over 20 years.  I am known for specific neck work and headache management.  Whereas both of us can give you a good therapeutic massage, sometimes we know that our client needs our partner's skills.  This is one way the shared client comes into play.

Over the years we have developed a shared client base.  Most were initiated by us referring clients to each other for specific treatment, but some were started by the clients not being able to get into see their regular therapist so they agreed to try the spouse.  This works out well for all parties involved.  The client gets the best therapy and if they want to shake things up a bit they can alternate between us for some variety.  We will hopefully retain clients longer, not lose money, and get twice the word of mouth.

Is there a downside?  Yes.  Occasionally when we see each others clients, they decide they like the spouse better and decide they do not want to be shared.  Now let me clarify that this is not problematic for us, but it can cause the client to feel awkward.  They may feel guilty for changing their loyalty to the other therapist and in the super rare extreme case, they may feel so uneasy that they quit coming to either of us just so they do not have to feel odd. 

We had a perfect example of this last week.  I had been working with a client for several months for TMJ issues and arthritic hips.  I had encouraged this client to see Hubby more than once but he was shy about seeing a male therapist.  Last week I had a touch of a stomach bug and needed to re-schedule his appointment so when we were looking at the calendar I casually mentioned that Hubby could see him and he could keep his appointment.  I was pleasantly surprised when he agreed.  After his session he was so pleased with his TMJ treatment that he decided to rebook with Hubby.....but he was sheepish about setting up his next visit.  When he asked me if it would be awkward or cause any problems if he saw Hubby again, I was quick to reassure him that I was perfectly OK with his decision.  I reminded him that I had told him how much better at TMJ work Hubby was and then to break the tension I said "Hey babe, the money goes in the same bank account no matter who you see!"  After a good laugh we set his appointment with Hubby and all was right in the massage world again.

I say share and share alike....and hopefully when I share it will be a 350 lb burly guy that just loves Hubby. 

Super Shopper is Super Annoying

This weekend I ventured out to Walmart for a few items and as usual I left the store with more items than I really meant to buy.  I usually give my business to Meijer as they stock more Made in the USA products, but Walhalla was on the same side of town as my gym so it was supposed to be a quicker trip.  Alas quicker was not in the cards for me.  I had the terrible misfortune of getting in the checkout line behind Suzy Super Shopper. 

Suzy was decked out in pink stretch polyester from head to toe to accentuate her not so girlish figure.  Her little cat eye glasses were sitting on the tip of her nose so she could peer over the lenses at all of her items while she fastidiously compared their prices with the Meijer sales flyer she was clutching.  After each item was scanned she would peruse her flyer and then point out Meijer's price so the Walmart clerk would discount her items to match the price Meijer was advertising.  Now let me just say that I am not frugal by any stretch of the imagination but I do use coupons and from time to time I will ask stores to match their competitor's prices.  But a whole cart, really?  I thought ole Suzy was going a bit over the top...... and may or may not have mumbled this and a few other four-letter words as I pulled my cart out of the now stalled checkout line.

So besides a need to vent my frustration, here is my question.  If you have that many stinking items that you are demanding price matching on, why in the hell didn't you go to Meijer in the first place?  Suzy, are you listening?  How about you do the rest of us a favor and quit holding up the checkout lines so you can save a penny or two on your canned peas and toilet paper?  Then maybe--just maybe..... you should consider taking your ass to Meijer next time!

Guided Imagery and Massage

      A dream which is not interpreted is like a letter which is not read. 

 ~The Talmud

Have you ever woke up from a powerful dream and still felt the emotions that you were "feeling" in your dream?  Better still, have you ever had your significant other wake you because you were fighting someone or something in your dream and it carried over into beating the crap out of your bedmate?  Had a dream that you felt might be a premonition?  Chances are most of us have had at least one of these dreams but when we are asked if we ever stopped to wonder what the dream was trying to communicate to us, the group would be quite small.

Ancients believed that dreams had the power to solve problems, heal sickness and bring spiritual revelation.  Scientists today subscribe to the theory that dreams are a product of a certain kind of sleep and a way for the brain to process important data.  Mystics believe dreams are opportunities for the soul to leave the body and experience other dimensions, while psychologists believe dreams represent the working of the unconscious mind.  Whatever the reason, it is estimated that we spend one third of our lives sleeping and on average we dream for a total of two hours or so every night.

During later stages of gestation the unborn child exhibits signs of REM (rapid eye movement) activity in the womb.  This has led to the suggestion that dreaming is somehow linked with human growth and development.  Similarly, lab testing has shown that if you deprive people from REM sleep, the subject becomes unwell very fast.  It seems that even if we do not remember them, our dreams play an important role in health and well being.  It has even been suggested that we sleep in order to dream.

So is it a reasonable leap that guided imagery can have some of the same healthy effects as dreaming? 
Sometimes lumped in with meditation, guided imagery is more of an illustrated journey that moves the body and mind to a place of serenity through the use of verbal pictures in a kind of narrative form. It can be either pre-recorded or improvised, and uses the spoken word presented in soothing tones to create a calming visualization. This is especially useful for people who feel stressed out most of the time or who may find it difficult to totally relax on their own. 

So what happens when you combine massage therapy with guided imagery?  Various studies have shown that guided imagery and massage both help to boost our immune system as well as encourage relaxation and elevate our moods.   Putting together this relaxation technique with massage therapy helps reinforce the body, mind and spirit connection in several ways. Using touch, massage brings a physical awareness to the body, while the spoken word can encourage the client's thoughts to be quiet. Together they may assist in generating a deeper sense of internal spirituality.  While guided imagery is more than simply telling your client to relax, it doesn’t have to include a fully illustrated journey. The goal of combining the practices of guided meditation and massage is to bring the client’s mind into harmony with a relaxed and stress-free physical state.  Two examples of useful journeys are described below:

· Imagine warm sunlight coming down from above. The warm, golden light beams down, touches the top of your head and relaxes the tension held in your scalp. The golden glow moves down your body slowly stopping to warm each muscle group, draining any tightness into the earth below you.

· As you feel your body relax and release tension it becomes lighter and lighter. As resistance is removed, your body becomes so light it begins to float. You lift off the earth and float like a cloud up to the sky. The warm sun envelops you and a gentle breeze carries you through the sky.


I must admit I was one of the skeptics and reluctantly agreed to allow a massage therapist friend of mine to incorporate some cranial sacral therapy (CST) into my massage session.  With her soothing words and gentle touch I relaxed to an almost dream-like state and was magically teleported to a waterfall surrounded by lush green foliage.  I was so shocked by what seemed like a clever version of a Jedi mind trick that I abruptly left my peaceful imagery and said "What the hell was that?".  The CST allowed me to get more relaxed than I had ever been during a massage session so I took it a step further and did yoga with guided imagery.  I came away from my first yoga/imagery session feeling absolutely stoned.....but in a good way of course.

Not every client will be open to guided imagery; some may actually find it more stressful, conflicting with their own efforts of relaxing during a massage. For some people, a quiet massage therapy session with gentle music is more soothing. But for those who find the inclusion of guided imagery a good thing, it can be an effective addition to their approach in maintaining good physical health and mental well-being. 

I say let your unconscious be your guide!

Low Back Pain: Five Tips for Massage Therapy Clients

Considered to be one of the most common reasons Americans seek medical help, low back pain plagues at least four out of five adults at some point in their lives. Capable of causing excruciating pain, finding relief from this common ailment can be tricky. Despite a seemingly endless parade of techniques and products promoting back pain relief, an increasing number of Americans are recognizing that massage therapy ranks near the top of low back pain interventions. Since massage therapists frequently encounter low back pain sufferers, knowing how to guide people on keeping their back pain-free can dramatically boost a client's quality of life.

Massage Tops Low Back Pain Approaches
Massage therapy has been a coveted way to relieve low back pain for as long as historical documents on the subject exist. However, a new study commands an even greater level of respect for massage's effectiveness at helping this problem. As published in a July 2011 edition of the Annals of Internal Medicine, a study funded by the U.S. National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine evaluated the effectiveness of massage therapy for chronic low back pain.
In this study, over 400 participants with chronic low back pain either received weekly whole-body massages for relaxation, weekly massages that focused on specific muscle problems around the lower back and hips, or usual care. Those receiving usual care typically took pain medications or muscle relaxants, saw doctors or chiropractors, received physical therapy or simply did nothing. The researchers found that both types of massage therapy were much more effective at relieving low back pain than usual care. After 10 weeks of intervention, the following was reported:
• 36 percent of patients receiving weekly whole-body relaxation massage said their pain was nearly or completely gone.
• 39 percent of patients receiving weekly massage that focused on specific muscle problems around the lower back and hips said their pain was nearly or completely gone.
• Just 4 percent of patients receiving usual care said their pain was nearly or completely gone.

Tips to Prevent Back Pain
Massage therapy's ability to relieve back pain is rarely disputed, but therapists can also help their clients prevent low back pain recurrence. The following suggestions can help prevent low back pain from returning:
1. Quit Smoking - Smoking cigarettes seems to worsen just about every known health condition, including low back pain. Likely because smoking hinders blood circulation, experts assert that smokers are 30 percent more likely to suffer from back pain than non-smokers.
2. Get Up and Move - Whether behind a wheel, in front of a computer or just watching TV, sitting for extended periods of time is one of the worst positions for the low back. The spinal discs are spongy and cushion the vertebrae, but they naturally have poor blood supply. Upon getting up and moving, fluid circulates around the discs. On the other hand, sitting starves the discs of fluid making them vulnerable to damage.
3. Stretch and Strengthen Core Muscles - Most physicians agree that regular stretching and strengthening of the core muscles constitute the most important lifestyle practices for preventing back pain. Advise clients in a safe stretch and strengthen program with a focus on back, abdominal, oblique and leg muscles.
4. Lift Properly - Those who lift heavy objects for a living are well aware of the importance of body mechanics, but the rest of us may not be. Always engage abdominal muscles during a lift, bend the knees, keep back straight, don't bend at the waist, keep object close to the body, do not hold an item higher than armpits or lower than knees, don't move something over 20 percent of your body weight, don't pivot, twist or turn while lifting, point feet at the item being lifted, and only change direction with the feet (not the waist). These instructions will help prevent back muscles from being strained.
5. Wear Back-Friendly Shoes - Supportive, low-heeled or flat shoes are crucial for preventing back injury. Although high heels may be high fashion, they increase the arch in the low back. This spinal alignment change increases one's susceptibility to low back injury.

Because they offer one of the most effective techniques for relieving low back pain, massage therapists are in an ideal position to advise their clients on injury prevention. By emphasizing the hazards of smoking, sitting and wearing high heels while also encouraging proper strengthening, stretching and lifting, therapists can effectively help their clients get rid of low back pain for good.

Quote of the Day

My husband came in this morning to show me all the eggs that his hens had laid.  He said "You know when I spend time with them I think they lay better."  I said "Well, aren't you just the chicken whisperer!"

Heard Today on the Massage Table

When I noticed a particularly large knotted muscle today, I said "Wow!  Thaaaaaaat's a knot!"

My client without missing a beat said "Only the best for you babe!".

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When I was doing some deep tissue work that did not feel good to my client, I said "Sorry.  I know that doesn't feel so good."

My client said "You need a sign in here that says 'Masseuse means never having to say you're sorry'"

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Client:  "Oh I never come in here expecting relaxation.  I was amazed that you let me."

Seasons Are a Changin'

Labor Day Weekend in Kentucky sucked this year.  On Friday and Saturday the temperature was near 100 degrees.  On Sunday and Monday the weather was much cooler and wetter.  In four days time we had a temperature swing of 40 degrees.  So much for that last cookout of summer.  But it sure made it easier for me to paint my bedroom when the weather was not trying to entice me outside.  Summer is definitely easing out gracefully and fall is rapping on the door.

Fall is my favorite season.  The air is crisp.  The leaves are changing into beautiful bursts of dark, vibrant colors...ahhhh nature's purge.  The fireplace gets used.  Chili!  Seat warmers!  School is back in session and the kids are being entertained by someone else for a change.  Bulky sweaters and over-sized hoodie sweatshirts are my fashion of choice--not for the stylish look but for the hiding of muffin tops.  Flannel sheets!  Hot chocolate with marshmallow cream.  Scarves and hats for my wanna-be-Brit fetish.   Hot stone massages.  Hot tubs keeping you cozy even when it is cool outside.  Halloween!  UK hoops!  Pumpkins for pie and jack-o-lanterns. 

Bring. It. On.

Quote of the Day

If you have to ask yourself if what you are about to do might get you into trouble, then it will probably make a good story someday.  ~KB

Shave That Thang!

Unless you are a powerful wizard named Gandalf.......for the love of all that is holy, SHAVE!

No Show Clients

My original post was:  People that book appointments then later decide they cannot make their appointments and do not bother to call and cancel or re-schedule are inconsiderate jerks that cost me money and waste my time.  That is all.

But after I counted to ten and found my zen, I thought it might be better to explain why the no call-no show appointment booker should value my time, which was set aside especially for them, and perhaps help them to be a bit more considerate in the future.

When I schedule massage appointments I put some thought into setting the times.  I know that sounds like I am blowing something simple way out of proportion but it really does take some planning as there are many factors that come into play when I work on my schedule and I am very organized.... to the edge of obsessive compulsive disorder....some might say.  I would like to believe that if clients were aware of all the energy and time that went in to my planning, then they would not be so quick to bail on their massage appointments--especially with little or no notice.  Rebecca of Sunnybrook anyone?

Since I share my treatment room with a yoga instructor we have to coordinate our schedules and when we are both busy this can be a bit of a juggling act.  When we introduce new clients into the mix we spend a considerable amount of time working out exactly when we can schedule appointments without interrupting each others time.  We keep our schedules on-line so we have access to schedules for each other, but even then I still have to make phone calls to make certain that the calendar is current and all our appointments are logged into the system.  OCD much?   Sharing my room helps me out financially but it hinders my flexibility in schedule changes.

I have several standing appointments....which is a great thing for a massage therapist.  Some of these appointments are weekly and some bi-weekly.  By booking early and consistently my clients with standing appointments are guaranteed to get a massage at their preferred time.  When I set appointments for clients that are not seen regularly they are sometimes forced to accept appointments at a time that might not be their first choice, but it is the only time that our (the client and me) schedules will allow for their massage.  Standing appointments also help me out financially but can limit schedule flexibility as well.

I do independent contract work for a country club several days each month.  My schedule at the club is very flexible and if my appointments are not booked by a certain time, I have the freedom to cancel my workday and see clients at my office.....or take the occasional day off.  The club gets an average of 8-10 massages from me each month and they are terrific about referring clients to my office on days that I am not available at their wellness center.  My work at the club is another nice financial opportunity for me but it also contributes to scheduling difficulties.

Another consideration is that I am limited on how many massage appointments I can physically do without killing myself.  Through trial and jacked up body errors I have found that I can do 4 massages daily and around 19 weekly without my body complaining too much.  My goal is to work 4-5 days each week and to be done for the day by 7:30pm.  Sometimes this happens.....sometimes I work 6 days and do more massages than my body wants me to do.  To combat my body aches and fatigue it is necessary for me to  get my own massages regularly.  I also workout with a personal trainer two days each week.  While all of my scheduling conflicts are important, taking care of myself is the most important..... but it is also the one conflict that I have complete control over so it is the one that gets changed to accommodate clients.  Soooo, can you imagine how cranky I get when I re-schedule my own massage and then my would-be client doesn't bother to show up?  Not a happy panda is not even remotely close to my level of grumpiness.

When you take all these things into consideration you can see that it really isn't all that easy to get those massage appointments set up.  Years ago when I was a new therapist and had lots of open appointment times, it was not a big deal to re-schedule clients to other days and times.  Now that I am consistently booked it is a much bigger deal when someone does not show up for their scheduled appointment.  Chances are that the no-show client cost me money and possibly a new client as several times each week I have to turn away business due to my schedule being full. 

So how do I fix this?  Hire more staff to handle my overflow?  Did that.  Enforce my cancellation policy? (Yes, I really do have one in place!)  Being a hard ass is not really my thing but I may have to reconsider this.  Take a credit card number for new clients when they call to schedule their first appointment?  Yeah, I could do that but this could turn off some potential clients-- but it might be one sure way to deter the no-show appointment.  Hoping that others do the right thing and value my time as much as their own?  So far that has not worked out very well.  Call and rake the appointment breaker over the coals?  If I didn't mind stooping to their rude and inconsiderate level......hey, that's something to think about. :)

Dust Bowl

Today I was doing a little bit of housekeeping at my massage clinic....meaning I dusted and vacuumed my treatment room and the reception area.  Since I had a little extra time before my next client, I decided to check on Hubby's room.  OH. MY. GOD.  I cannot begin to tell you how yucky his room was.  I mean I know that we keep the lights down low as a rule, which easily conceals dirt.....but man oh man was his room in need of a scouring!  I dusted and ran for my life in fear of what else might be lurking in those dark corners. 

My goals are to be neat, organized, tidy and uncluttered.  Hubby?  Not so much.

Carnival Cruise Spa

Recently I took my second cruise and this time I decided to visit the spa.  When I arrived on the ship I took a guided tour of the spa and met several of the employees who gave mini speeches about some of the spa treatments that were available.  They offered teeth whitening, seaweed wraps, facials, haircuts and styling, massage, manicures, pedicures and weight loss techniques.  I knew that I wanted to get a massage but I was also open to other services.

The prices of their services were somewhat inflated as most vacation spots tend to be, but since this was not my first cruise I was aware that prices were discounted on port days and I opted to wait a few days before I booked my appointment.  Hubby also decided to visit the spa with me and although we booked our appointments at the same time, the staff was absolutely bewildered when we told them that we did not want to do the couples package.  Relaxation is best served solo in my opinion.

My selection was Spatopia.  This consisted of an exfoliation, hot stone back massage, pressure point foot massage, scalp massage and facial.  The cost was $139 for 75 minutes.  This was the discounted price.  My therapist was a lovely young lady from Capetown South Africa.  She trained at "university" for two years and had been working on-board for an extended period of time.  When she found out what I did for a living she jokingly said "Oh great!  You will be judging me the whole time."  Throughout the session she asked me lots of questions about my practice and work and I asked her similar questions.  I found out that she and her fellow co-workers worked 12-14 hours per day and on slow days they did 4 massages and on busier days could see up to 9 clients.  Knowing this I was relatively sure that my appointment was not going to be great.

Tracey started with the exfoliation.  This consisted of a very coarse brush going up and down my body.  I was expecting a nice scrub and gentle rinse.  Surprise!  After this brief form of torture she gave me the hot stone back massage.  To her credit she gave me a nice relaxing massage despite the fact that she only used her forearms.  Poor Tracey explained that she did so many treatments that her wrists and hands were always sore and she could not use them during massages anymore.  The pressure point foot massage came next and it lasted about 2 minutes.....blink and you might miss it!  She did a very quick facial and scalp massage simultaneously.  This was nothing special but it wasn't bad either.  On a scale from 1 to 10, I would rate my spa visit a 6. 

Hubby got the exfoliation which he was quick to say "hurt" and a massage.  His cost was $129.  He told his therapist that he was stiff around his scapula and she focused her attention there.....and only there.  At around the 30-minute mark he had to ask her to massage other areas as she had over-worked the area and it was even more irritated that when he arrived.  His therapist also complained about her hands and apologized for not being able to give a better massage.  Hubby ended his treatment by showing her some stretches for her hands.  He was not happy with his session.

The atmosphere was very professional and the treatment rooms were nicely equipped.  The prices were not great but were on par with other spas located in vacation spots.  The staff was hard-working and friendly but were simply working too many hours and their aches and pains took away from their performance.  I left feeling very sorry for the staff and being very thankful that I was not working in such harsh conditions.  But I have to admit when Tracey told me that she got to see new places, didn't have to cook or clean....I was a tad jealous for a minute or two.

Massage Therapist Attractiveness

When I select a massage therapist for my own treatment I look for a couple of traits.  One is they must be able to give me deep pressure and the second must-have trait is a good personality.  Then call me a snob, but I like a tastefully decorated office and a non-smoker.  I am not saying this is what everyone should look for in a therapist but for my optimal massage, those are my personal preferences.  So in this line of thinking I had to ask myself what it is in ME that attracts my client base.

I have often told others that if you have good hands and an ounce of personality then you cannot fail at this job.  To a certain degree I still believe this.  I mean honestly how many people do you know that despise getting a massage?  Typically if something feels good and it makes you healthier, consumers will try it out.  In fact, a survey compiled by the AMTA (American Massage Therapy Association) revealed 1 in 4 patients that sought treatment for pain had tried massage therapy at least one time in that year.  Patients that received regular massage therapy was around 12% overall.  That is a big pool of bodies.  So with a little creative marketing and some good word of mouth, you should be able to drive some people through your front door. 

So once you get them in the front door, how do you make them want to come back?  Obviously you need to do a massage to their satisfaction, but what else can you do to make yourself and your practice their number one choice for their massage needs?  One of the first chances to make a good impression is the office setting.  For my own clinic I tried to make it a place that looked inviting and professional, but not too clinical and rigid.  I went with neutral/earth tones with a hint of Asian flair.  When it came to giving my massage table a special  little perk I added memory foam toppers and heated fleece table covers.  I finished the table with flannel sheets.  All of these extras are small things that I hope make the difference between my clinic and some of the other massage offices.

But the eye candy does not stop at your office decor.  How you present yourself matters too.  You only get one chance to make a good first impression so I try to project a confident, intelligent, and compassionate demeanor.  I make eye contact when I introduce myself and go over their intake form.  It is a pet peeve of mine when someone cannot communicate with intelligence so I try to make sure I use correct grammar and  speak about massage in terms that the client can understand without having a medical degree.  When I name a muscle I explain where it is in their body and what movement(s) it is responsible for.  Now don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to telling someone their muscles are not in their happy place or that something is jacked up, but I do not lead with this jargon--it is for after I have assured the client that I know how to do my job.

Looks are important too.  Would you want someone massaging you if they had dirty fingernails?  Were sweating profusely?  Wearing a halter top and hot pants?  Okay maybe some folks WOULD like that, but that is not the kind of massage image I want to project.  Hubby wears scrubs to enhance his professional look.  When we work corporate or charity events we wear matching polo shirts with our company name embroidered on the chest.  Clean, well-groomed and unwrinkled goes a long way with me and I can only assume it is important to the clientele who I want to attract.

So I have covered the office appearance and the therapist looks, but what else is attractive to potential clients?  I tend to think it is personality.  If you meet two professionals and each is equally qualified in their field, but one is not friendly or unwilling to engage in conversation and the other is warm and happy to discuss your concerns at length, which person are you more likely to bond with?   I think it is the friendlier, warm fuzzy person and that is why I try to connect with each and every client that I come in contact with.  Do I make connections with everyone that walks through my clinic door?  No.  If it is meant to be, it happens.  If not, I tell people with sincere honesty "I might not be the therapist for you." 

Since laws of attraction are not precise and do not always adhere to science, I can only begin to make an educated guess as to what makes my practice enticing.  My theory is like attracts like.  So I will not be waving my fingers over bodies and removing negative energy.  I will not be wearing sleeveless tops and letting my armpits get bushy-haired and back to nature.  I will not be chanting or offering prayers over clients.  What I will be doing is giving the client a professional atmosphere, a good massage and a massage therapist that tries to meet both their physical and emotional needs.  If that client returns I will assume I did something right!

Bahamas Cruise

As luck would have it we had fantastic weather for our journey.  We only had a couple hours of rain on the last day of our cruise, otherwise it was sunny and lovely--despite it being hurricane season.  We learned that there were several tropical storms all around us but our crew was able to navigate around them.  The only effects we saw of the storms was one day of 5 foot swells.  This was the day I donned the motion sickness patch and spent a lot of time reclining while my poor mother got intimately acquainted with the loo.

We were also pleasantly surprised with a beautiful full moon for several nights.  There really is something magical in standing on the top deck of a ship and watching the moonlight ripple over the waves.  Admiring the constellations without anything marring your view is an amazing experience as well.  Of course when you do not have good sea legs the whole looking up and keeping your balance thing can be a bit difficult......

Trip Recap:

Day One:  One piece of luggage was lost.  Hubby and I rummaged through hundreds of suitcases to find ours.  Vacation is underway!  I won a medallion for my uber nerdiness knowledge of random trivia.

Day Two:  Maid knocks two times and tries to enter our cabin without waiting to see if we are inside.  I yell at her to let her know we are indisposed.....meaning I am freshly showered and seated at the vanity in all my naked splendor.  Maid still pushes on the door.  I jump up to stop her, get tangled in my blow dryer cord, launch myself across the room and face plant.  I went to the ship infirmary for bandages and neosporin.  My bandaged leg looked fantastic with my dress at elegant dining night.

Day Three:  Toured Nassau with a guide named Dr. Peepers.

Day Four:  Floated for two hours in the ocean at a private island.  Visited the spa and got a hot stone back massage, facial, foot and scalp massage.  I also got an exfoliation that consisted of a wire brush scouring my body.....this sucked out loud by the way.

Day Five:  Choppy water drove me to motion sickness meds.  The meds left me stoned and oh so sleepy.  I went into to Grand Turk and ate at Jimmy Buffet's restaurant and returned to the ship for a nap.  I felt like an old lady.

Day Six:  Relaxed.  Unwound.  Won $10 in the casino.  Reflected that even though I had a few rough patches, this really was a nice trip.

Bahama Mama

I will be on a cruise and enjoying my time away from the office!  Cross your fingers there is no bad weather as it is hurricane season......  See you on the 22nd!

Massage Blessing

When my client, who was lying on my massage table, said "What a blessing!", I just thought she was really enjoying her massage.  Then she went on to clarify her statement.  She said "I hate to say it but it is true.  It was such a blessing that my old therapist went out of business....otherwise I never would have found you!". 

I love my job!

Quote of the Day

It's crazy how you can go months or years without seeing or speaking to someone yet they still manage to drift into your thoughts almost daily.....or having starring roles in your dreams. ~KB

Putt Putt What?

I got a hole in one on this interesting hole.......

Kettlebell Injuries

Over the last few years, the workout world has been taken by storm with kettlebell (KB) training.  Some claim that KB training is an aerobic exercise, while others claim it builds muscular strength and conditions you.  A 2010 study published by the American Council on Exercise found strong scientific support for the high intensity KB routines producing aerobic benefits and burning approximately 400 calories--all in a 20-minute workout.  Clearly kettlebells can produce benefits but they are not without potential negative effects.

In my opinion, what is not made clear is KB training is a workout more appropriate for athletes who are not at the beginning of their fitness plans.  It is not my intention to come on here and say that KB is the devil and nobody in their right mind should ever try this training, but I would strongly encourage those interested in this training to start with a certified fitness trainer supervising their efforts as the risk of injury is high.  In fact one article I read suggested that 1 in 6 KB users will sustain injuries that can leave them unable to workout for one or more weeks, with the most common cause of injury resulting from improper lifting techniques.

Some of the common injures associated with KB training are:

• Hyperlordosis (over arching the back) during overhead lifts can pinch and compress the lower spine
• Impingement syndrome
• Rotator cuff injury
• Hyperextensions
• Dislocations
• Tearing of skin on hands
• Bruising and pain to forearms and wrists
• Knee pain 
• Back and shoulder strain

KB training requires strength and coordination.  The exercises involve multiple joints and many muscle groups working together so proper technique is extremely necessary in preventing injuries.  Kettlebellwall.com and complete-strengthtraining.com are a couple of the sites I found when researching KB training.  On those websites I found articles titled "Kettlebell Swings and Back Pain", "KB Without Spine Injury" and "Prevent Common Kettlebell Injuries".  Mind you these are sites that are promoting this fitness plan.



Complete-strengthtraining.com posted these tips to reduce the possibility of  injury:

• Warm up well before you start lifting.
• Weights should be challenging but not too heavy.  This is one of the biggest mistakes in KB training.  Weights that are too heavy can easily get out of your control and throw off the center of gravity.
• Start with a lower weight KB to learn and master the proper body mechanics.
• Be sure to have good posture and alignment.  No twisting or contorting the body to lift heavier weights.
• Slowly work up to heavier weights.
• If you lose control of the KB--get out of the way and let it fly.
• If you feel any sharp pains, stop immediately.

As with any exercise program you should consult with your physician to determine if this regime is appropriate for you.  It is also recommended that you select a personal trainer that has certification in this specific modality.

I wrote this to give you some facts about this controversial fitness routine.  I have had more than one client sustain injuries associated with their KB training, and while any exercise program can cause pain and injury I tend to not trust this method.  These are just my thoughts on KB training and opinions are like assholes, everybody has one and most people think theirs doesn't stink.

Victoria's Secret

Sometimes you get really comfortable with your clients and you share intimate things.  I have several clients that talk very freely with me and vice versa.  One such fellow was in my office recently and shared that his teenage son was more than elated when the Victoria's Secret Catalog arrived.....well, for the visual aids, if you will.  Neither he nor his wife were freaked out about the whole incident, in fact they took it in stride as good parents should--with humor.

I laughed with my client and shared my own version of sons and underwear models.  When I realized that my oldest son was enjoying the female form, it was because I discovered many weeks worth of the underwear ads from the Sunday newspaper shoved between his mattress and box springs.  Who knew all those Sears and Playtex ads were so sexy?  Big boring white bras and girdles on older women, really?  I guess when you are 13 years old and have a limited pool of underwear models, anything could be considered attractive.  At least that was what I hoped was the case--finding out that he was turned on by grannies and said granny panties was more than I could bear.

After I confiscated all the underwear ads, I shared my discovery with my husband and we had a chuckle.  We never broached this subject with our son and he never mentioned that his hidden stash had disappeared.  Several days later my Victoria's Secret Catalog arrived in the mail and my husband promptly placed it in my son's hands and said "This came for you today, enjoy." 

I assumed he had things well in hand....