This week my first client was a lovely middle school aged girl. When I started my music it was still on a Christmas station so I apologized and quickly changed the station to my massage music. The young lady said "There's nothing better than Christmas music....there are no sad songs." Out of the mouths of babes.
Politics came up and yielded some great descriptions of a couple of the candidates. Donald Trump was described as "a 15 year old bully at prep school that never grew out of that state" and Bernie Sanders was compared to "your dad....but like 2 years past when he is really your dad". Both comments made me chuckle while agreeing with their assessments.
Naturally Star Wars was a hot topic as well. If you do not want to know anything about the movie you should quit reading now. SPOILER ALERT. Is Rey a twin to Poe, to Ben? Could she be the daughter of Han and Leia? Luke? Is she Anakin reincarnated? Is Ben really evil or is he undercover to destroy the dark side? Why George Lucas? Whyyyyyyyyyy? Han Solo was my first crush! So what if Harrison Ford is the same age as my dad! I LOVED HIM! Still pissed.
And my personal favorite. My client's comment to me admitting I was shocked that I did not lose any clients when we moved our clinic: "You say that like you're surprised. You're f@cking awesome! I would drive to Cynthiana for a massage from you."
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Happy Halloween!
Saturday, October 24, 2015
My Funny Papa
Last weekend I invited my father to come hiking with me at Raven Run. When we arrived at the Overlook and were looking at the river, Dad asked me if I knew about the time he took my mother swimming in the river. I told him I did remember that story and the two of us had a good chuckle. Naturally my husband wanted to know what had us both so tickled so I told him the river story.
Now, for those of you who might not know Papa Joe.....he is a dedicated Bible thumper from way back. If the church doors were open--we were there. Everyone in my family was involved with some church activity, be it choir, puppet team, deacon, pianist, drummer, etc So you can imagine how many friends were made over the years. And
some friends were more special. The Miller Family was very special to our family. Not only was our pastor and his wife close to the same age as my parents, their three sons were also about the same age as my sister and me. We spent a lot of free time with the Millers and it was at their home when this story was first told.
Papa Joe was telling Brother Miller and his wife about what happened when he took my mother swimming earlier that week. There was a relatively safe beachy area near our home and on rare occasions we would swim there. Mom and Dad were there adventuring alone this time. Dad said that he and my mother were floating on rafts when they saw three strangers approaching the beach. It was two men holding hands with the woman walking between them......and she was topless. He said that he and my mom quickly gathered their things and left for home.
After hearing all this and having a good laugh, Brother Miller jokingly reassured my dad that he had not committed a sin by looking once, it was only a sin if you looked back a second time. Papa Joe says "Yessir, I know that. That's why I took One Looooooooooong Look."
Brilliant loophole?
Now, for those of you who might not know Papa Joe.....he is a dedicated Bible thumper from way back. If the church doors were open--we were there. Everyone in my family was involved with some church activity, be it choir, puppet team, deacon, pianist, drummer, etc So you can imagine how many friends were made over the years. And
some friends were more special. The Miller Family was very special to our family. Not only was our pastor and his wife close to the same age as my parents, their three sons were also about the same age as my sister and me. We spent a lot of free time with the Millers and it was at their home when this story was first told.
Papa Joe was telling Brother Miller and his wife about what happened when he took my mother swimming earlier that week. There was a relatively safe beachy area near our home and on rare occasions we would swim there. Mom and Dad were there adventuring alone this time. Dad said that he and my mother were floating on rafts when they saw three strangers approaching the beach. It was two men holding hands with the woman walking between them......and she was topless. He said that he and my mom quickly gathered their things and left for home.
After hearing all this and having a good laugh, Brother Miller jokingly reassured my dad that he had not committed a sin by looking once, it was only a sin if you looked back a second time. Papa Joe says "Yessir, I know that. That's why I took One Looooooooooong Look."
Brilliant loophole?
Friday, October 2, 2015
Shaved or Unshaven
It's that time of year again......when all my ladies apologize for their unshaven legs. I wish I had a dollar for every time I have heard a version of "I'm sorry. I didn't shave my legs." Do I care whether my clients shave or not? Not in the least.
Since most of the unshaven moments happen when the weather is cooler outside and I live in the horse capitol of the world, I like to think of the unshaven legs as something akin to a horse's winter coat growing in. And like the winter coat, growing hair out is a completely normal thing to do--no matter what season it is. In fact, in many civilized places around the world it is just as acceptable for women to grow out their armpit and leg hair as it is commonplace to shave in the USA.
I recently read a study in Psychology of Women Quarterly that explored the taboo of women not shaving their body hair. The women were asked to answer questions about body hair and after the initial survey they were asked to go 10 weeks without shaving. At the end of the 10 weeks the women were asked the same questions again. The results were:
*Many women reflected on how, although they initially framed body hair as a (sometimes insignificant or casual) personal choice prior to doing the assignment, they changed their views once they grew their body hair. Four themes (sometimes overlapping) appeared in women’s discussions: (a) new perspectives on the social meanings of body hair, (b) encounters with homophobia and heterosexism, (c) anger from family members and partners about growing body hair, and (d) internalized feelings of being “disgusting” and “dirty.”
It was an interesting read, but it only gave the female point of view. Men shave/wax parts too!
Soooooo for the last time (not), massage therapists are taught to practice unconditional positive regard. What exactly does that hippie speech mean? It means we consider every body on our massage table in the same way--with respect. We focus on what the client needs and we do not care whether you are shaved/waxed or wooly.
Since most of the unshaven moments happen when the weather is cooler outside and I live in the horse capitol of the world, I like to think of the unshaven legs as something akin to a horse's winter coat growing in. And like the winter coat, growing hair out is a completely normal thing to do--no matter what season it is. In fact, in many civilized places around the world it is just as acceptable for women to grow out their armpit and leg hair as it is commonplace to shave in the USA.
I recently read a study in Psychology of Women Quarterly that explored the taboo of women not shaving their body hair. The women were asked to answer questions about body hair and after the initial survey they were asked to go 10 weeks without shaving. At the end of the 10 weeks the women were asked the same questions again. The results were:
*Many women reflected on how, although they initially framed body hair as a (sometimes insignificant or casual) personal choice prior to doing the assignment, they changed their views once they grew their body hair. Four themes (sometimes overlapping) appeared in women’s discussions: (a) new perspectives on the social meanings of body hair, (b) encounters with homophobia and heterosexism, (c) anger from family members and partners about growing body hair, and (d) internalized feelings of being “disgusting” and “dirty.”
It was an interesting read, but it only gave the female point of view. Men shave/wax parts too!
Soooooo for the last time (not), massage therapists are taught to practice unconditional positive regard. What exactly does that hippie speech mean? It means we consider every body on our massage table in the same way--with respect. We focus on what the client needs and we do not care whether you are shaved/waxed or wooly.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Heard This Week on the Massage Table
Client: "You know how old Obama looks now as compared to when he was first in office?"
Me: "Yes! All the presidents look so old by the end of their terms."
Client: "And George W looked so old too!"
Me: "You're right. And now that he is retired and painting...look how happy and relaxed."
Client: "Well, if for no other reason.....you see how old and how bad Obama and Bush look, so do you really want to see Hillary Clinton get in and watch her get older?"
Me: "That is some kinda knot you have here."
Client: "That's my effin mattress." And as an afterthought "Oh! Pardon Me for saying effin!"
Client: "Damn."
Me: "Is something wrong?"
Client: (Laughing) "I am cursing myself for only taking the 60-minute massage when I could have done 90!"
Me: "I was asked what my worst massage experience was."
Client: "Oooo that sounds good! ....unless I am the worst?"
Me: "Yes! All the presidents look so old by the end of their terms."
Client: "And George W looked so old too!"
Me: "You're right. And now that he is retired and painting...look how happy and relaxed."
Client: "Well, if for no other reason.....you see how old and how bad Obama and Bush look, so do you really want to see Hillary Clinton get in and watch her get older?"
Me: "That is some kinda knot you have here."
Client: "That's my effin mattress." And as an afterthought "Oh! Pardon Me for saying effin!"
Client: "Damn."
Me: "Is something wrong?"
Client: (Laughing) "I am cursing myself for only taking the 60-minute massage when I could have done 90!"
Me: "I was asked what my worst massage experience was."
Client: "Oooo that sounds good! ....unless I am the worst?"
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Intake Call From Hell
When you are your own receptionist, like a lot of self-employed massage therapists are, you get a lot of phone calls. Some of them are asking for basic information about massage, some requesting prices and hours of operation, some trying to sell us something, and then.... there are calls like this one.
I answered the phone by announcing my business name, then I gave my name and asked the caller what I could help her with. In a very upbeat manner my caller started telling me all about herself. During the next SEVENTEEN frickin' minutes I found out that she was 60 years old, that her father was deceased and his passing marked the first time she had a colonoscopy. She told me her mother was 92 and bitter--but in otherwise good health. She told me all about how she watched her father take such abuse from "the church and its so called Christians" where he was the minister FOR YEARS. (The last two words of her sentence were over-emphasized for the high drama factor.) She told me she was "thinkin' on going to the Healing Arts 'cause she is interested in trainin'. She then segued into telling me about her car wreck and stated that she had not driven since her accident and that was THREE YEARS AGO! (She yelled this with such vigor and pride.) And then the conversation turned to her reading aloud an article about lymphatic drainage....which she stumbled over, mispronouncing most of the content. The caller then asked me to explain what lymphatic drainage was. Soooooo after my mini lecture on what LYM-PHA-TIC DRAIN-AGE (I yelled this at her phonetically) actually was, she says "You don't really use something to drain that out of a body, do you?" It was at this point I was truly irked enough to interrupt her. I said "You know, I hate to interrupt you but you still have not told me why you called me today and I have clients to see, so tell me why you called." There was a lengthy pregnant pause and then in a less than enthusiastic tone she said "I guess how much do you charge for a massage?" So I tell her the rate for a 60-minute massage as I knew if she booked an appointment with me that I could suffer through an hour with her --but not one stinking second longer. The phone line disconnected. So after listening (mostly) patiently for 17 minutes the only thing I did not find out was the real reason she called me.
The lesson from this story is to take control of the conversation or suffer the consequences.
I answered the phone by announcing my business name, then I gave my name and asked the caller what I could help her with. In a very upbeat manner my caller started telling me all about herself. During the next SEVENTEEN frickin' minutes I found out that she was 60 years old, that her father was deceased and his passing marked the first time she had a colonoscopy. She told me her mother was 92 and bitter--but in otherwise good health. She told me all about how she watched her father take such abuse from "the church and its so called Christians" where he was the minister FOR YEARS. (The last two words of her sentence were over-emphasized for the high drama factor.) She told me she was "thinkin' on going to the Healing Arts 'cause she is interested in trainin'. She then segued into telling me about her car wreck and stated that she had not driven since her accident and that was THREE YEARS AGO! (She yelled this with such vigor and pride.) And then the conversation turned to her reading aloud an article about lymphatic drainage....which she stumbled over, mispronouncing most of the content. The caller then asked me to explain what lymphatic drainage was. Soooooo after my mini lecture on what LYM-PHA-TIC DRAIN-AGE (I yelled this at her phonetically) actually was, she says "You don't really use something to drain that out of a body, do you?" It was at this point I was truly irked enough to interrupt her. I said "You know, I hate to interrupt you but you still have not told me why you called me today and I have clients to see, so tell me why you called." There was a lengthy pregnant pause and then in a less than enthusiastic tone she said "I guess how much do you charge for a massage?" So I tell her the rate for a 60-minute massage as I knew if she booked an appointment with me that I could suffer through an hour with her --but not one stinking second longer. The phone line disconnected. So after listening (mostly) patiently for 17 minutes the only thing I did not find out was the real reason she called me.
The lesson from this story is to take control of the conversation or suffer the consequences.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Friday, February 13, 2015
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