Food For Thought

If you have to get two plates of food each trip you make through the Golden Corral Buffet Line, I just have to wonder why you think it is important to order a diet soda.   Go ahead and live a little--that 175 calories for the regular soda is a drop in the caloric bucket compared to the two thousand plus calories that you already have on your plates.

Constructive Criticism

Recently I was forced to re-evaluate my massage performance when a long-time client expressed his wishes for changing his massage that day.  He told me that he loved my massages but that in the last six months it seemed like I was not giving him pressure that was deep enough and I had not been stretching him lately.  I listened to him and asked questions to make certain that I understood what it was that he was hoping to achieve from his massage sessions.  After I was sure that we were on the same page I told him that I was thrilled to change up his massage sessions and had secretly wanted to do the stretching and deeper pressure for a long time but had been hesitant to try this as he had expressed his displeasure when I had tried to incorporate these things into his massage treatments in the past.  My client wanted to impress on me that he was not looking for another massage therapist and hoped he had not upset me by telling me he wanted something different.  I assured him that only by his communicating with me would I truly be able to give him a massage that was to his liking.

Over the years I had fallen into a routine when it came to this fellow's massage sessions and although I thought I was honoring his wishes, clearly my interpretation was different from his.  My staying away from areas that caused him to flinch in pain or vocalize that what I was doing hurt, tricked me into thinking I was doing massage just like the doctor ordered, when in fact I was not.  While my client was disrobing, I took a moment to process all  this information and then I entered the treatment room with a renewed vision of how I was going to work with my client.  I worked deeper, added some gentle stretches, and I stripped out his hip adductors.  All of these things I had previously abandoned were getting the much needed attention again.  Then a remarkable thing happened.  My client told me he was glad he talked with me because I had just given him the best massage he had ever had.  When I left the clinic that afternoon I felt as if I had accomplished something positive. 

Now instead of feeling useless and bored by doing the same old same ole massage, I am actually looking forward to the next appointment and thinking of new ways to mix things up some more.

March Madness

For college hoops fans there is nothing better than watching all the great tournament games in March.  For the folks living with us who are not huge fans of sporting events....not so much.  My poor husband has learned that anytime UK basketball is on the television I will be watching.  What Hubby failed to understand was that during March Madness there are too many good games being played to limit myself to following only one team.  I bleed blue but I can still appreciate a Duke/UNC match-up and although Rick Pitino coaches that other team in Kentucky, I still love to watch him lead his team into battle.  Now toss in a game where I want the scouting report for our next opponent and you will have a pretty good idea of what March Madness is like in our house.  Basically it is a whole lot of camping out in front of the TV with  really bad junk food and not a whole lot of anything else.

Watching hoops takes preparation time too.  Since most games last an average of two hours, one must line up the cosmos so there are as few interruptions as possible.  In my house there is the all important Big Blue dress code.  I must don the UK hoodie, the hand-made UK earrings and some comfy sweatpants.  But the prep work doesn't end there.  Heavens no!   I line up the remote controls, and program the channels so I can hop from game to game with the touch of just one button.  I put a can of Mt. Dew in the freezer so it gets to just the right temperature--you know not a slushy but a few ice crystals floating around?  I usually have chocolate or chips, or both, on-hand for stress relievers.   I keep my cell phone at my side for texting  friends and family members with game updates and commentary. (Ex. These refs suck!)  I also keep my day planner and ink pen nearby in case a non-basketballer calls for a massage appointment. Once these things are in place, it is time to get my basketball Jones on.

When the game tips off I cheer, yell at the refs, offer coaching tips, chastise players for bonehead shots,  hex the opposing team when they are shooting free throws, etc.  In my mind this is how I envision everyone watches basketball games.  This is what I saw my parents do and it became my M.O. as well.  I never realized just how odd this behavior looked until  last month.  I was visiting my in-laws and they were kind enough to let me hijack their TV so I could watch the UK/Arkansas game.  After UK took a stab at a 3-pointer and missed it, I yelled "OH COME ON!".  My poor mother in-law nearly jumped off the couch.  After she jumped the third time I told my husband to assure her that I was mentally stable and the yelling was perfectly normal.....just ask the 23K at Rupp Arena if you doubt me.

When the season ends I cannot help but be a little sad.  What keeps me going?  Knowing that it will all start up again in November.  Until then I will be up to my eyeballs in basketball madness and loving every minute! 

Sleep much?

I  Its
N night
S so
O only
M my
N nocturnal
I insomniac
A ass


is awake.

Oh sweet slumber, why dost thou elude my weary soul?
I yearn for thine comforting blanket of sleep.
As I gaze at the moon and hear the clock bells toll
I pray sweet dreams... into my conscience soon seep.

Communication is Key

Have you ever left a massage and thought it was just not the type of massage that you wanted?  Most of us have and it is not always the massage therapist who is to blame.  If we are unable or uncomfortable expressing what we hope to achieve in our massage sessions, then we should not be upset when the massage therapist does not meet our needs.  So how do you communicate your preferences effectively? 

Visiting a massage clinic can be a bit overwhelming.  I mean you are going to let a total stranger touch you and you will not be wearing much, if anything, in the way of clothing.  So we have modesty, the fear of the unknown, body image concerns and preconceived notions of a big woman named Helga snapping your spine like a twig.....telling the therapist what you hope to get out of your massage might be one more thing that lands in the pile just outside your comfort zone.  If you have lucked up and found a good massage therapist, they should be able to help remove some of your concerns by explaining exactly what you should expect in your massage session and if you are really lucky they will ask you the right questions and get a fairly good idea of what type massage you desire.  If you stumbled upon a massage therapist that does not ask you many questions and/or attempt to ascertain important information, then here are a few tips to help you get a better massage:

1.  Ask the therapist to explain how they will be draping you.  Some therapists use towels, while others use sheets to cover the body--ask if this concerns you.  If you are a very modest person you might want to ask the therapist to work through the sheet when they are massaging your gluts aka bottom.
2.  Ask about what type of lubrication the therapist will be using during the massage.  If you have a nut allergy you should speak up as some oils have an almond base.  If you find oil too greasy, you can ask about creams or gels.  If you have a sensitivity to smells, ask them to use unscented lubrication.  If you are going out after your massage you might want to ask the therapist to not get lube in your hair.
3.  If you have a sore spot that you would like the therapist to focus their attention on, tell them.  If you know what caused the tension in your body (ex. worked out with weights, pro wrestler, whiplash from gawking at the nudist colony down the street, etc) explain the incident(s) so the therapist can get a better idea of what other muscles might be involved in your discomfort. 
4.  If you have ticklish spots or have an aversion to being touched in a particular spot, be sure to voice this before your massage starts.  I will generally ask them not to touch my tummy....not weirded out by it--just does not feel relaxing to me.  If you have a spot like I have,  it is best to advise the therapist before they touch it.  Trust me on that one.
5.  If you bruise easily and think cracking your knuckles is excruciatingly painful, then you should not ask for a deep tissue massage.  I have found that a great many people that ask for deep tissue work do not have a clue what a deep tissue massage feels like.... until you introduce them to your elbow and they scream out in pain.  If you want relaxation you should not ask for a therapeutic massage or a deep tissue massage.  You should probably ask for a Swedish massage aka relaxation treatment or a hot stone massage might help you get your mellow on.  If you have a good pain tolerance or you like a good hurt you should not ask for a relaxation massage.  You should request deep tissue or therapeutic massage to work your kinks out.
6.  Do not be afraid to say something hurts.  If the therapist is giving you too much pressure you should ask them to back out and give you less pressure.  Sometimes a therapeutic massage can be uncomfortable but it should never get to the point that you feel like the massage is doing more harm than good.  The old "no pain, no gain" mindset is wrong.  Your therapist should check in with you to ask if their pressure is good, too much, if you need more pressure, etc but if they don't, it falls to the client to correct this matter.
7.  Room setting:   If you hate the music the therapist is playing for ambiance, then tell them what kind of music you like or ask them to turn the music off.  If the lights are too bright, ask them to dim the lights or get you an eye pillow.  If the heat on the table is sending you into a hot flash, ask them to turn off the table warmer and uncover your feet.  If the therapist is yammering on about what she had for lunch and you just want to hear the fountain and mood music, ask them to not talk to you unless it pertains to the massage.  If you feel that the room is chilly, ask for a blanket or have them turn up the temperature on the table warmer and/or thermostat.

All of this sounds like common sense but being mindful of your desires and communicating them can be difficult for some of us.   I tell clients "This is YOUR TIME so let me know what I can do to make it great for you."  I hope my tips make it easier for your next visit and remember the massage is what you make of it.

Love it!

I took this picture in San Francisco near Ghirardelli Square.

Not So Happy Ending

 Recently my husband and I traveled to California to visit family members and while we were there we decided to have a massage day.  We happened upon a business called Eden Spa and were delighted to find out they were only charging $40 for an hour massage.  We mistakenly assumed that this "clinic" and its "therapists" had to adhere to strict guidelines--like we do in our state.  Imagine my surprise when I found out that certification in California is "voluntary".  Translated, anyone can hang a shingle up and say they offer massage services no matter what their knowledge of the human body is, not to mention their having zero training in such things as cross-contamination, contraindications, ethics and the like.  Had I known California's stance on certification before I paid for our massages, I would not have stepped inside the place.  But I digress.

There was no paperwork to complete prior to our massages and the only question we were asked was if we wanted to be in the couples room or in separate rooms for our massages.  After deciding to go solo I was escorted back to the treatment room.   I noted that the decor was appropriate and the table was dressed professionally.  The girl that was going to give me my massage entered the room and never asked the first question about what type of massage I wanted or if I had any medical issues so I surmised that she had not received formal training and prepared myself to get a relaxation massage....aka the fluffy rub.  When I asked her to give me more pressure, she just giggled.   I then realized she could not speak English very well, if at all.  Yep, it was definitely going to be a fluffy rub.  At the end of my rub she left the room for a few minutes to allow me to get dressed and when she re-entered she cupped her hands and said "Tips?". I couldn't help but think that $40 bargain was not such a great deal after all.

I finished before Hubby did and was amazed to see the steady stream of men that were paying for "massages". It was then that I started to think this business was one of those kinds of massage establishments.  When Hubby came out of his treatment room he handed his masseuse a $10 bill and rather than being appreciative of her tip, she said "Tweenee be bettah".   I guided Hubby out the door as quickly as possible.   When we were safely outside I told my husband of my suspicions.  He said that he did not get that "vibe" at all and his girl even commented on what a gentleman he was.  I chuckled and told him that was probably the code word for happy ending or massage with extras.

Two one-hour massages:  $80.  Two tips:  $20.  The look on Hubby's face:  PRICELESS.