Saturday, November 30, 2013

Heard This Week on the Massage Table

Me:  "So your ex-husband who is Australian bumped into you twice now in Kentucky?"
Client:  "And he is living in South Africa at the moment."
Me:  "You realize that if your life was a romantic comedy this would be the time that you realized that you were destined to be together?"

Text Message:  That massage stuff works.

 Me:  "Full-time is about 25 hours per week.  My body has told me that four massages per day is what feels okay.  Soooooo I guess right now you are saying 'Boy am I glad to be her fourth massage today!  I bet she is sucking fumes right now.'"
Client:  "Actually I was thinking it was probably worse to be number 3 since you probably tell yourself to keep some energy for the last one.  On the last one you probably go all out since you know you are about to go home.  But with that said, I have never felt like you ever skimped--I always feel like you take pride in your work and strive to do the best job you can do."

Client:  "Who is seeing me tonight?  I know you two were fighting over who gets to massage me."

Client's child:  "Mommy did you fall asleep too?"
Me:  "Your mommy gets a whole different kind of massage than you do.  If she fell asleep I would be amazed."

 Client:  "I have a house full of out-of-town guests right now but I told myself that I would not be missing my massage today."

Out of State Client:  "You have ruined me for all other massage therapists.  Since I saw you I have tried three different masseuses and I left thinking they sucked and I had wasted my money."


Client:  "I am going to the UNC game.  I'm a Tarheel."
Me:  "I used to like working on you.....so disappointed."