Several months back a new massage therapist approached me and asked about participating in Groupon. She had done some research and it sounded like a great way to get new clients and make bundles of cash. So I looked into this marketing campaign for my clinic. For those of you that have not heard of Groupon, it is a group coupon that saves you up to half off the regular fees for restaurant food, services like massage and yoga, dental procedures, etc. After watching their video on how Groupon works, it sounded too good to be true. Ya know what? It was.
In order to participate in Groupon a business must agree to discount their services by at least 50%. Then the business has to further agree to give Groupon 50% of the already discounted fee for their marketing services. In my case we would be discounting a massage from $60 for an hour, to $30. Then we would have to give $15 of that $30 back to Groupon, which means I would be making $15 an hour for a 60-minute massage. Now factor in if you have employees on a percentage split and you would be making $5.25 and the independent contractors would be making $9.75 for a 60-minute massage. If you want to really use Groupon as an effective marketing tool, they recommend you do the "Deal of the Day".....which also has a nice fee attached. This great deal did not sound so great to me so I declined their offer. When they called back a few weeks later, I declined their offer again.
So this week when a Groupon sales associate called me to explain all the benefits of this wonderful (heavy sarcasm) deal, I had lots of questions and hypothetical situations for her. Since it was obvious that my two prior rejections was not sufficient enough for them to take me off their prospective client list, I figured I might as well give them all my reasons for saying "No thanks"...... but this time with feeling.
Question 1: How exactly is a business supposed to be thrilled with making one fourth of their regular fee? Well according to all the Groupon hype, you will be sooooo busy with all this new business you attract from your Groupon, you will easily make up that lost revenue with all your new clients. She told me more clients means more money. Sounds good, but that led me to my second question.
Question 2: Exactly how many of these new clients do you think I will retain if they have to pay full price? I told her that I had friends in the salon industry that did their awesome deal and only kept TWO clients out of the 500 coupons they sold. She said "Well......it does take time to see return business." My reply was "Surely, but that is a LOT of free work for two returns and it cuts into your established client's appointment times. Do you suppose the other 498 people waited for the next half price coupon? I do."
So Questions 3 and 4 were: How are you going to find appointment times for all the new clients plus your already established clients and what happens when your established clients want to participate in this coupon extravaganza? Groupon would have you believe that you could do all this new business without a hitch and they wondered why I wouldn't want to include our loyal client base in the savings. I cited another therapist that had used Groupon and told her that he was bombarded with his regular clients grabbing up the half off coupons and subsequently he lost money from the clients that were already content paying his full price. So not only did he lose money on the new business but now he was losing money on his established client base too.
Groupon Gal wanted to tell me how mistaken I was about what Groupon could do for me and argued that it was bad business for not discounting fees for current clients. It was at this point I decided to unload the Wrath of Kim. I told her that bad business was doing something that costs you money with very little-- if any return for your efforts.....period. I told her that her pyramid scheme might be great for therapists that had little to no business, but for a clinic that stayed booked there was nothing she could tell me that would make me think that my making $15/hr and paying them $15 per coupon was a good thing. I let her know that I kept my clients happy by offering in-house discounts and bonuses, and that I didn't mind taking less to reward my great clients--it was having to pay Groupon half of the discounted fees that I take in that I found excessive and absurd. GG was undaunted and wanted to share success stories of other therapists in my area so I just cut her off and said I was glad it worked for them but I was satisfied with my business and felt my own marketing and terrific word of mouth was serving me just fine.
For the record I am not adverse to doing free or discounted massage to attract new clients---I do this on a regular basis with salons, fitness trainers, medical professionals, and others with whom I network and do cross-referrals. The difference between this networking/advertising and Groupon is none of my contacts ask for money in return for their recommendations. As for rewarding my clientele, for every referral they send to me I give them 30 minutes of free massage and I offer 30 minutes of free massage during the week of my client's birthdays, which can be redeemed in stand alone massage sessions or they can add the minutes to another massage to get a longer massage at a cheaper price. Several times throughout the year I also offer free upgrades for hot stones, cupping, paraffin dips,etc and I run multiple promotions that offer a 90-minute massage for the price of a 60-minute massage. Each of my discounts is a minimal loss of revenue and time, but still a huge hit with our clients. I advertise my deals in newsletters, door to door sales, and Facebook. None of these marketing strategies reach as many people as Groupon but I am able to reach several hundred contacts directly and it is essentially cost-free.
In closing, I am not saying that Groupon doesn't work well. Obviously it does work well for businesses that can afford to take a cash loss for advertising and still stay afloat or for start-up businesses that need an instant infusion of new clients. I simply feel there are better ways to market your business without having to seriously undersell your services.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Mistaken Identity
In the past I posted ads on Craigslist to attract new clients or to spotlight a special promotion that my office was running. I stopped this practice when it seemed like ads from this site were attracting the wrong clientele, specifically the ones that wanted happy endings. But really who could blame them for inquiring about sexual favors when many advertisements under the heading "Therapeutic" had pictures of scantily clad women offering sensual massage. Remember the serial killer dubbed "The Craigslist Killer"? He preyed on female escorts posting ads on Craigslist as massage therapists for hire. Never mind the fact that I listed my massage therapy license number and stated all massages were completely non-sexual.....the freaks still called.
It was during this period of my career that I got very good at screening potential clients. Whenever a male caller would ask me if I had to drape him or ask me to describe what a full body massage entailed, I had a pretty good idea that they were interested in a massage with extras. Just to be certain that my intentions were absolutely, positively clear, I always made sure to say "Yes, I drape because it is the state law and no exceptions will be made. If you're asking me if we massage the genitalia, the answer is NO. Now, if you are interested in getting a professional massage from a licensed therapist, then I would be happy to set up an appointment." The would-be freaks would hang up and the legitimate clients would chuckle at my speech and then ask for an appointment.
This worked fairly well for me until a couple of years ago. I began receiving a lot more freaky phone calls and figured there had to be a reason, so one afternoon I was casually browsing Craigslist and found an ad for sensual massage and the chap had used my business name as his own. He was not licensed and it got worse from there. He was offering sensual massage for gay men. I immediately fired off a strongly worded email to let him know that my business name was registered with the state and we were a legitimate massage therapy clinic, and I demanded he remove his post. To make sure that my business did not get confused with the illegal one, I posted an ad in all caps issuing a warning about the disreputable masseur using my business name and asked other subscribers to flag the impostor's ad as "miscategorized" or "illegal". I submitted letters to the state attorney general and the administrators of Craigslist explaining the problem. Although I did not receive anything back from any of the parties I filed complaints with, the post for the illegal massages was removed within one day.
I still browse Craigslist on a fairly regular basis as I want to be known as the massage therapist that has client's massage sessions ending happy--but NOT with happy endings.
It was during this period of my career that I got very good at screening potential clients. Whenever a male caller would ask me if I had to drape him or ask me to describe what a full body massage entailed, I had a pretty good idea that they were interested in a massage with extras. Just to be certain that my intentions were absolutely, positively clear, I always made sure to say "Yes, I drape because it is the state law and no exceptions will be made. If you're asking me if we massage the genitalia, the answer is NO. Now, if you are interested in getting a professional massage from a licensed therapist, then I would be happy to set up an appointment." The would-be freaks would hang up and the legitimate clients would chuckle at my speech and then ask for an appointment.
This worked fairly well for me until a couple of years ago. I began receiving a lot more freaky phone calls and figured there had to be a reason, so one afternoon I was casually browsing Craigslist and found an ad for sensual massage and the chap had used my business name as his own. He was not licensed and it got worse from there. He was offering sensual massage for gay men. I immediately fired off a strongly worded email to let him know that my business name was registered with the state and we were a legitimate massage therapy clinic, and I demanded he remove his post. To make sure that my business did not get confused with the illegal one, I posted an ad in all caps issuing a warning about the disreputable masseur using my business name and asked other subscribers to flag the impostor's ad as "miscategorized" or "illegal". I submitted letters to the state attorney general and the administrators of Craigslist explaining the problem. Although I did not receive anything back from any of the parties I filed complaints with, the post for the illegal massages was removed within one day.
I still browse Craigslist on a fairly regular basis as I want to be known as the massage therapist that has client's massage sessions ending happy--but NOT with happy endings.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Movie Nerds
There are some movies that I could watch 20 times and still desire to see them again and again. My all-time favorites include classics like Gone With the Wind, Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, The King and I, The Sting, Jaws, The Sound of Music, The Color Purple, Braveheart, A Christmas Story, The Way We Were, The Princess Bride, The Last of the Mohicans, The Last Samurai, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Inlgorious Basterds, Million Dollar Baby, Pulp Fiction, Star Wars (episodes 4-6), Indiana Jones, and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Each of these films draws me in and keeps me entertained every single time I watch them.
The reasons I watch some of these beauties is obvious. Seriously, how gorgeous is Vivien Leigh as the sassy southern belle, Scarlett O'Hara? And Rhett Butler? Talk about the perfect man! Rogers and Hammerstein took wonderful music and partnered it with magnificent cinematography....of course when I sing along it might not be as magical to the other parties who are watching, but Julie Andrews never complains. At age 13, Han Solo became my first love. The teenage boys never stood a chance against this scruffy, cocky, ever so lovable hero and 30 years later I still adore watching Han and friends outsmart the forces of evil. When I needed a good chuckle the shenanigans of the Dread Pirate Roberts and his entourage never let me down.
Now the downside of seeing movies multiple times is that there are no big surprises coming down the way. You know when that awesome samurai is going to die and when the shark is going to have a snack. You know that Rhett won't be coming back and Maggie, on the cusp or realizing her dreams, will get paralyzed by a hateful cheating bitch. But my seeing a movie multiple times does not in any way diminish how emotional I get. I still blubber like a baby when the heroine loses her child or the hero loses his life. Those characters might not be real but they elicit a strong emotional response.
Over the years I have come to know the lines to a great many films and while some might argue that this is another downside to seeing a movie umpteen times, I find it strangely enjoyable. As a matter of fact, my husband and I have turned quoting movies into a friendly competition. We run the lines with the characters most of the time, but sometimes we say the upcoming lines before the characters do to really showcase our memorization skills.....or as Hubby puts it, our "nerd skills". When we are running lines we try to impersonate the actors' facial expressions and accents and when one of us truly outshines the other, we talk smack about our superiority.
Easter weekend found us watching and quoting the LOTR trilogy. A scene in the second movie of the series had Legolas arguing with Aragorn and parts of the conversation were in English and parts in Elvish--with subtitles. Our competition had been fairly even up to this point, but then my husband decided to play the coup de grace. Hubby rolled off the upcoming line in perfect Elvish and with a smug smile on his face he said "My nerd skills are more powerful than yours." It was with a heavy heart that I acknowledged he truly was nerdier than I.
The reasons I watch some of these beauties is obvious. Seriously, how gorgeous is Vivien Leigh as the sassy southern belle, Scarlett O'Hara? And Rhett Butler? Talk about the perfect man! Rogers and Hammerstein took wonderful music and partnered it with magnificent cinematography....of course when I sing along it might not be as magical to the other parties who are watching, but Julie Andrews never complains. At age 13, Han Solo became my first love. The teenage boys never stood a chance against this scruffy, cocky, ever so lovable hero and 30 years later I still adore watching Han and friends outsmart the forces of evil. When I needed a good chuckle the shenanigans of the Dread Pirate Roberts and his entourage never let me down.
Now the downside of seeing movies multiple times is that there are no big surprises coming down the way. You know when that awesome samurai is going to die and when the shark is going to have a snack. You know that Rhett won't be coming back and Maggie, on the cusp or realizing her dreams, will get paralyzed by a hateful cheating bitch. But my seeing a movie multiple times does not in any way diminish how emotional I get. I still blubber like a baby when the heroine loses her child or the hero loses his life. Those characters might not be real but they elicit a strong emotional response.
Over the years I have come to know the lines to a great many films and while some might argue that this is another downside to seeing a movie umpteen times, I find it strangely enjoyable. As a matter of fact, my husband and I have turned quoting movies into a friendly competition. We run the lines with the characters most of the time, but sometimes we say the upcoming lines before the characters do to really showcase our memorization skills.....or as Hubby puts it, our "nerd skills". When we are running lines we try to impersonate the actors' facial expressions and accents and when one of us truly outshines the other, we talk smack about our superiority.
Easter weekend found us watching and quoting the LOTR trilogy. A scene in the second movie of the series had Legolas arguing with Aragorn and parts of the conversation were in English and parts in Elvish--with subtitles. Our competition had been fairly even up to this point, but then my husband decided to play the coup de grace. Hubby rolled off the upcoming line in perfect Elvish and with a smug smile on his face he said "My nerd skills are more powerful than yours." It was with a heavy heart that I acknowledged he truly was nerdier than I.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Shakespeare Irony
We all have our vices and mine is reading stories about vampires. I have read Anne Rice's collection, JR Ward's Brotherhood of the Black Dagger series, Twilight, and various other tales from the crypt, but my favorite series is The Southern Vampire Series aka the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris. In anticipation of the next book being released May 8th, I re-read the last book to jog my memory about the plot that will be segueing into the newest delicious story. My husband has affectionately come to call my fantasy reading material "Vamporn" as there is always a love story and a saucy love scene or two......or ten involving a sexy bloodsucker. The last book by Harris had my favorite bloodsucker, Eric Northman, discussing a problem with his sweetie and he quoted Shakespeare with "There's the rub".
I will never really know whether it was my joy with Eric using the word "RUB" or my rabid curiosity that sent me researching the origin of this phrase, but irregardless I had to know. As it turns out this phrase is a term used in lawn bowling, a sport that Shakespeare is widely believed to have loved. In lawn bowling, the "rub" was an obstacle or uneven area that could send balls off course. So when the bard referred to the rub in Hamlet's soliloquy, he meant it as a snag or problem.
Of course I immediately ran with this line of thinking. As a massage therapist I am regularly presented with tight muscles. Tight muscles restrict or decrease the bloodflow and lymphatic drainage, which might be perceived as an obstacle to homeostasis, the state of balance in the body. By rubbing/massaging tight muscles and connective tissue I can help restore the body to a state of balance.
In other words, I rub to release the rub.
I will never really know whether it was my joy with Eric using the word "RUB" or my rabid curiosity that sent me researching the origin of this phrase, but irregardless I had to know. As it turns out this phrase is a term used in lawn bowling, a sport that Shakespeare is widely believed to have loved. In lawn bowling, the "rub" was an obstacle or uneven area that could send balls off course. So when the bard referred to the rub in Hamlet's soliloquy, he meant it as a snag or problem.
Of course I immediately ran with this line of thinking. As a massage therapist I am regularly presented with tight muscles. Tight muscles restrict or decrease the bloodflow and lymphatic drainage, which might be perceived as an obstacle to homeostasis, the state of balance in the body. By rubbing/massaging tight muscles and connective tissue I can help restore the body to a state of balance.
In other words, I rub to release the rub.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Telemarketing Funny
Today I got a phone call from a fellow that wanted very much to sell me his credit card processor. This fellow asked to speak with the owner of Healing Hands Mass. Apparently "Massage" was abbreviated in the directory listing that he was using for his call sheet. Think I could market massage to Catholics if we offered forgiveness for their sins at the end of their rub? HOLY MASSAGE BATMAN!
Massage Me Dangit!
Ever wish that your spouse or significant other would give you a massage? You are not alone. The truth is that a lot of women secretly desire their husbands to learn to give them a good massage and a large number of men say they would rather pay someone to give their women massages. This does not in any way mean that there is not a loving commitment in a relationship, it just indicates that women and men do not see things identically.....you know the ole Venus and Mars scenario?
Some women fantasize about the candlelit, warm oil, intimate massage. Others have wrestled kids, career and household chores and simply want to have some of those tension spots worked out. Migraine headaches require quiet, dark and cool rooms, but occasionally a few hair tugs partnered up with gentle massage to the neck and scalp can go a long way toward pain relief.
Men tend to want to give women what they need, but when they get a massage request they do not see this as a feat they can tackle and achieve optimal results. Men see a stressed partner and want to help but think that she would get the best care from a professional. And let's face it.....men are visual creatures and seeing the object of their desires wearing very little-- if any clothing stokes up the passion flames. Not that this is a bad thing! Speaking from experience, even though my spouse is a massage therapist, when he gives me a massage I sometimes feel like my naked body on a massage table is equivalent to crab salad on a Ritz cracker---just an appetizer before the next course!
So what is a couple to do?
Try a couples massage session. This is a great way to share intimacy and get a good massage for both parties. If you are not too much into your own mellow, you can watch your mate get massaged and learn a few tricks of the trade that you can try at home.
Get a home visit/traveling massage therapist. This is a great way to surprise your mate and have access to your own shower after the massage. Your significant other can assist the therapist for more intimacy or they can watch the kids so you can truly relax and unwind.
Take our class, How To Massage Your Partner 101. This class teaches the basic massage strokes and how to use lubricant without leaving your client feeling like they just took a bath in balsamic dressing. We can teach the basics for massaging feet, backs, neck and shoulders and scalps in about 2 hours. We also offer a class that teaches basic yoga poses and stretching with a few massage techniques tossed in for good measure. Either class is a fun time with long-lasting healthy interactions.
If none of these options appeal to you, give a massage gift certificate. I promise your loved one will not be disappointed too much and I guarantee they will feel a lot better after their massage. I like to think of this option as paying it forward. The gifted will feel great, think more kindly toward you and subsequently life will be a tad easier as a result of your magnanimous gesture.
No more excuses. Get busy and massage somebody! Even if you are not as awesome as the therapist your spouse saw in the five-star spa in Aspen, the effort will get you an in-house superstar rating. Who knows....you might just be a natural and the next time you want to do something special for your honey, instead of burning a salad you could rub her the right way for a change.
Some women fantasize about the candlelit, warm oil, intimate massage. Others have wrestled kids, career and household chores and simply want to have some of those tension spots worked out. Migraine headaches require quiet, dark and cool rooms, but occasionally a few hair tugs partnered up with gentle massage to the neck and scalp can go a long way toward pain relief.
Men tend to want to give women what they need, but when they get a massage request they do not see this as a feat they can tackle and achieve optimal results. Men see a stressed partner and want to help but think that she would get the best care from a professional. And let's face it.....men are visual creatures and seeing the object of their desires wearing very little-- if any clothing stokes up the passion flames. Not that this is a bad thing! Speaking from experience, even though my spouse is a massage therapist, when he gives me a massage I sometimes feel like my naked body on a massage table is equivalent to crab salad on a Ritz cracker---just an appetizer before the next course!
So what is a couple to do?
Try a couples massage session. This is a great way to share intimacy and get a good massage for both parties. If you are not too much into your own mellow, you can watch your mate get massaged and learn a few tricks of the trade that you can try at home.
Get a home visit/traveling massage therapist. This is a great way to surprise your mate and have access to your own shower after the massage. Your significant other can assist the therapist for more intimacy or they can watch the kids so you can truly relax and unwind.
Take our class, How To Massage Your Partner 101. This class teaches the basic massage strokes and how to use lubricant without leaving your client feeling like they just took a bath in balsamic dressing. We can teach the basics for massaging feet, backs, neck and shoulders and scalps in about 2 hours. We also offer a class that teaches basic yoga poses and stretching with a few massage techniques tossed in for good measure. Either class is a fun time with long-lasting healthy interactions.
If none of these options appeal to you, give a massage gift certificate. I promise your loved one will not be disappointed too much and I guarantee they will feel a lot better after their massage. I like to think of this option as paying it forward. The gifted will feel great, think more kindly toward you and subsequently life will be a tad easier as a result of your magnanimous gesture.
No more excuses. Get busy and massage somebody! Even if you are not as awesome as the therapist your spouse saw in the five-star spa in Aspen, the effort will get you an in-house superstar rating. Who knows....you might just be a natural and the next time you want to do something special for your honey, instead of burning a salad you could rub her the right way for a change.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Junior Massage Therapist
Occasionally clients having unforeseen, last-minute dilemmas and are forced to bring their children along for their massage appointments. Today I had the pleasure of sharing my treatment room with two lovely ladies---my client and her 4 year old daughter. This little beauty won me over instantly as she bounced into the clinic wearing her new UK cheerleader ensemble. When she beamed a smile up at me and told me that she would let me know when her mommy was ready, I thanked her and told her I appreciated her helping me out today.
Moments after the duo entered my treatment room, a small voice called down the hall and okay-ed me to come in. Mommy had coached my new friend on what a massage voice should sound like, so she was whispering her questions and concerns. After a minute or two passed she decided I was in dire need of a "designer assistant" and as luck would have it, she was a "great designer assistant" so she asked if she could help me massage her mother. When my client chuckled, I assumed she was game. I put a small amount of massage oil in her tiny hand and told her to rub her hands together and then try to do what I was doing. With great enthusiasm, my new designer assistant began "massaging" her mommy. My little helper sought confirmation of her superior massage skills after each stroke and she was over the moon with her new job.
When the hour session was up I stretched mom's neck to make sure all her kinks were out. My client was amazed at the range of motion she had in her neck after the massage. I told her it was because she had two awesome massage therapists working on her. As we chuckled about my comment, my little assistant spoke up and said, "Mommy likes you...... but I think I did a better job, don't you?"
Moments after the duo entered my treatment room, a small voice called down the hall and okay-ed me to come in. Mommy had coached my new friend on what a massage voice should sound like, so she was whispering her questions and concerns. After a minute or two passed she decided I was in dire need of a "designer assistant" and as luck would have it, she was a "great designer assistant" so she asked if she could help me massage her mother. When my client chuckled, I assumed she was game. I put a small amount of massage oil in her tiny hand and told her to rub her hands together and then try to do what I was doing. With great enthusiasm, my new designer assistant began "massaging" her mommy. My little helper sought confirmation of her superior massage skills after each stroke and she was over the moon with her new job.
When the hour session was up I stretched mom's neck to make sure all her kinks were out. My client was amazed at the range of motion she had in her neck after the massage. I told her it was because she had two awesome massage therapists working on her. As we chuckled about my comment, my little assistant spoke up and said, "Mommy likes you...... but I think I did a better job, don't you?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)