Bigfoot Sighting at the Mall

Sometimes when I am in need of downtime, I like to get a good pedicure.  This has always been one of my girlie pleasures and I usually go to the nail salon alone, but recently my husband was stressing and needed some affection/attention, so I decided to treat him to his first pedicure.   I figured pedicures were always good for relieving some of my tension so it just might do the trick for him too.....plus it was a good excuse for me to get some pampering while looking like a super swell wife.

Let me preface the rest of this story with some imagery.  I have teeny tiny little feet and tiny little toes.  My feet are so small, I can actually wear a size 4 in girls shoes.  My husband is the polar opposite of me.  He wears a size 15 shoe.  He has toes long enough to wrap around a tree limb and hang like a monkey.  If he ever fell overboard he would be able to swim quite handily--built in flippers you see.  If he wasn't fairly tall, he could have played a hobbit without having to use artificial feet. His feet need their own zip code.  Bigfoot would lose his title if they ever met up.  I could go on but suffice it to say they are HUGE!

Amidst a cacophony of shing ting bao duck dong'ing and sounds remarkably like silverware and pots and pans bouncing on tile floors, we were seated in chairs beside one another and two Vietnamese ladies walked over to begin our toe extravaganza.  When Hubby placed his feet up on the base of the pedi-chair, both women started speaking their native tongue very loudly and shaking their heads.  Hubby looked at me and asked what they were saying.....like I spoke fluent Vietnamese.  Now, I am not a betting woman but I would wager it was something akin to "Those are the biggest effin' feet I ever did see.  You think we need to order more lotion to cover this much territory?  We should charge double for this!"

As you can imagine, what the pedicure lacked in relaxation, it certainly made up for in entertainment.  All during the treatment the women kept laughing, speaking Vietnamese and rolling their eyes.  The only English spoken was when my lady asked if we wanted Deluxe Pedicures and when Hubby repeatedly asked them what was so funny.  When  Hubby's woman pulled out something that resembled a very large cheese grater and began rubbing it over the rough patches on his soles I chuckled quietly.  When she began sighing and wiping her brow I couldn't help cracking up laughing.  Needless to say Hubby's lady skipped a few steps in his pedicure that my lady had time to perform for me.  When he grumbled about it to me I told him "Time management Dude.  Too much foot, so sowwy fo ju."

We tipped both ladies very well and we thanked them for tackling the big job.  As we were leaving I couldn't resist telling them that we would be back and would definitely ask for them.