Monday, October 17, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Quote of the Day
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Heard Today on the Massage Table
This week I heard some funny stories and thought they were worth sharing.
- A new client told me that recently she was getting a massage at one of the spas in town and she was really enjoying her massage until the LMT stopped working for several minutes and just held the back of her neck. The client thought it was odd but did not comment. Later in the massage the LMT once again stopped massaging and this time held her feet for several minutes. The client said she opened her eyes and found her therapist nodding off to sleep. She watched the therapist's head jerk a few times and then asked if she was asleep. The therapist said "No! I'm just holding a pressure point."
~And here I thought the object was to relax the client....
- A fellow massage therapist was interviewing for a job and was taken aback by a story about a therapist who previously worked in the clinic. Before starting the massage, the therapist (using that word loosely) took a patient outside and had them reach up and touch the limbs in a nearby tree so they could take in the tree's energy.
~Oddly enough my friend was being interviewed to replace the tree hugger.....
- In my clinic we have 4 treatment rooms and one of the rooms is rented by a skincare/waxing specialist. When I walked into my lobby yesterday I overheard a lady with a very loud voice tell the wax lady "HE WANTS A LANDING STRIP".
~And you thought my office was quiet and peaceful.......
Friday, October 14, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Quote of the Day
Suppose there was one day every year that it was legal to snuff out your significant other......I wonder how many Facebook users would be changing their relationship status to SINGLE as they watched their partner circle the drain.~KB
Sunday, October 9, 2011
The Many Splendors of Boobs
I found this article on Huffington Post and thought it was funny! ~KB
By the time a woman reaches the age of 50 in America, she has heard just about every loveable, awful, demeaning, eye-rolling, cute and hysterical term for those two globs of fat that sit on her chest.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so it's a good time to take stock of how to take care of our breasts, ourselves and our sisters who are battling this insidious disease.
In honor of those brave Warriors in Pink whom I know and those I have never met, this is for you. Laughter is the best medicine and hope cannot be prescribed in CCs and IVs. No one ever has the right to take your ability to hope away. So, what's in a name? Well, I'll tell you...
BOSOMS - There is nothing sexy about this term. It's Aunt Fanny in a cotton calico dress. These are the giant pillows that little children lay their heads on at naptime. Their two-car garage, boulder holder is most likely a Double D white cotton Woolworth's bra or more complicated girdle-like pre-Spanx contraption. Bosoms are way more than a handful, no longer springy and probably covered with baby powder or enough perfume to air freshen a room.
CLEAVAGE - OK, you're right, cleavage isn't typically a term for breast, but it's a preview, a prelude to a kiss. It's the trailer to the movie. Cleavage shows a little leg, it teases and offers a suggestion and the promise of more. But I had to include it. Cleavage is often preceded by the term "ample" and one customarily "sports" it.
HOOTERS - If breasts made noises, men must imagine they would hoot like a horn with joy. Perhaps that's how this mystifying nickname came into vogue. But alas, like the giraffe on the Serengeti, breasts are silent creatures. The fact that an entire adult restaurant franchise is named Hooters (and their logo is an owl whose eyes are two boobs with nipples) lets you know just how fun AND wise-like-an-owl this slang word is. Hooters connote the sexy librarian who takes off her glasses, lets her bun down and unbuttons her shirt. You go in for chicken wings and beer and end up with a face full of hooters! This is party city baby. If you're hootin' and hollerin' around, this is the term for you. No AA cups need apply.
BREASTS - An anatomically correct term for those globs of fat that sit on our chests. It's more delicate, like a wide champagne glass. "Breast" says classy, manageable. You can say breast in public. Hell you can ORDER chicken breast in a restaurant. It's acceptable without being clinical or denigrating. Breasts are the Limoges demitasse cups of the coffee world.
TITS - This is farm animal territory. It's two steps away from teats, a word that makes me shudder. I picture a cow's udders hooked up to hoses. Tit is a rough and service oriented term. It might also apply to that stage of motherhood where nursing Moms under extreme sleep deprivation believe they may actually now BE Bessie the Cow. And for the men who are too lazy to make their women feel loved and respected, this is the term for you. Good luck getting a home-cooked meal.
BOOBS - This word says sorority girl collegial and locker room cheerful. Boob just sounds fun, bouncy, no strings attached. Boobs don't have brains; they are ninnies, all harmless window dressing. It's a word you can write and say backwards or forwards. And fun, fun -- yes, even men can have boobs too! (Increasingly known as "moobs" which is short for man-boobs) The ambiguously ambidextrous quality of the word makes it a very safe and PC term in public.
RACK - This is flat out a dude's term, most often associated with hunting or butcher's cuts of meat. I think of "rack" as in lamb, the small defenseless baby animal that gets slaughtered at springtime. This is a gun-slingers term but Rack also goes with "rack and pinion steering," making it a mechanical term too. This nickname says "I'm gonna pull out some tools and tinker under the hood to get this baby running." Be afraid. And make sure he washes his hands.
TATAs - Kind of a nice way to messa 'round. This is a breezy, rapper, sing-songy word. It should have a dance step named after it. Even a toddler can say it and no one gets hurt. Tata is white bread and white rice soothing, no roughage or fiber to digest. Moreover, the use of simple syllabic names means you can give wide berth to the more clinical and scary anatomical terms that are just plain yucky (cross reference anatomy of the male sex organ). Among men this term is often preceded by the word "bodacious" for some inexplicable reason.
KNOCKERS - Ouch. This one is physical, the kissing cousin to another painful term "Speed Bags." Not good either, think Hulk Hogan. This calls to mind those perplexing old naked granny cartoons in Playboy or Hustler with torpedo shaped mammaries. I also think nostalgically of National Geographic magazine tribeswomen (pre-internet era porn for adolescent boys.) Knockers say, "gravity has taken its toll." It's kind of a caveman term for men at work--not play. Be warned, this is not Olivia Newton John's cheeky "Let's Get Physical." Nothing warm and fuzzy lives in the land of knockers.
THE GIRLS - This term is female retaliation, a smack down at men who, quite perplexingly name their male organs. You know what I'm talking about here, it's the sheer absurdity of pet names like "Big Pete" "Little Winky," "Carlos" and "Darth Vader." This disturbing custom validates the playful "buddy" relationship many men share with their body parts. The Girls is a non-threatening term that connotes comfort with ones own body. Think of the chick flick Bridesmaids and that take-back-the-night lingo that makes us feel all Helen-Reddy-I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar. This is also BFF speak, all cup sizes are welcome here and there's no hint of creepiness or sexism. "I'm taking the girls out tonight," means "I'm going to sport some contour." This is what happens when the old college sweatshirt comes off.
In the interest of brevity, I've left out other classics and potentially denigrating favorites such as jugs, melons, hogans, cans, headlights, fun bags, yabbos and gazongas. And I encourage you to chime in with some suggestions of your own. There's no question that the names for our mammaries are as varied, descriptive and nuanced as the women who own them.
So for every friend- sister- mother- daughter- wife- lover- partner- woman who has removed a lump, gotten a scare, lost a breast, had a mastectomy, taken care of and nurtured someone who has brushed up against the evil of "The Big C" - I salute you. Stay in the race, and keep fighting.
www.leewoodruff.com
By the time a woman reaches the age of 50 in America, she has heard just about every loveable, awful, demeaning, eye-rolling, cute and hysterical term for those two globs of fat that sit on her chest.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so it's a good time to take stock of how to take care of our breasts, ourselves and our sisters who are battling this insidious disease.
In honor of those brave Warriors in Pink whom I know and those I have never met, this is for you. Laughter is the best medicine and hope cannot be prescribed in CCs and IVs. No one ever has the right to take your ability to hope away. So, what's in a name? Well, I'll tell you...
BOSOMS - There is nothing sexy about this term. It's Aunt Fanny in a cotton calico dress. These are the giant pillows that little children lay their heads on at naptime. Their two-car garage, boulder holder is most likely a Double D white cotton Woolworth's bra or more complicated girdle-like pre-Spanx contraption. Bosoms are way more than a handful, no longer springy and probably covered with baby powder or enough perfume to air freshen a room.
CLEAVAGE - OK, you're right, cleavage isn't typically a term for breast, but it's a preview, a prelude to a kiss. It's the trailer to the movie. Cleavage shows a little leg, it teases and offers a suggestion and the promise of more. But I had to include it. Cleavage is often preceded by the term "ample" and one customarily "sports" it.
HOOTERS - If breasts made noises, men must imagine they would hoot like a horn with joy. Perhaps that's how this mystifying nickname came into vogue. But alas, like the giraffe on the Serengeti, breasts are silent creatures. The fact that an entire adult restaurant franchise is named Hooters (and their logo is an owl whose eyes are two boobs with nipples) lets you know just how fun AND wise-like-an-owl this slang word is. Hooters connote the sexy librarian who takes off her glasses, lets her bun down and unbuttons her shirt. You go in for chicken wings and beer and end up with a face full of hooters! This is party city baby. If you're hootin' and hollerin' around, this is the term for you. No AA cups need apply.
BREASTS - An anatomically correct term for those globs of fat that sit on our chests. It's more delicate, like a wide champagne glass. "Breast" says classy, manageable. You can say breast in public. Hell you can ORDER chicken breast in a restaurant. It's acceptable without being clinical or denigrating. Breasts are the Limoges demitasse cups of the coffee world.
TITS - This is farm animal territory. It's two steps away from teats, a word that makes me shudder. I picture a cow's udders hooked up to hoses. Tit is a rough and service oriented term. It might also apply to that stage of motherhood where nursing Moms under extreme sleep deprivation believe they may actually now BE Bessie the Cow. And for the men who are too lazy to make their women feel loved and respected, this is the term for you. Good luck getting a home-cooked meal.
BOOBS - This word says sorority girl collegial and locker room cheerful. Boob just sounds fun, bouncy, no strings attached. Boobs don't have brains; they are ninnies, all harmless window dressing. It's a word you can write and say backwards or forwards. And fun, fun -- yes, even men can have boobs too! (Increasingly known as "moobs" which is short for man-boobs) The ambiguously ambidextrous quality of the word makes it a very safe and PC term in public.
RACK - This is flat out a dude's term, most often associated with hunting or butcher's cuts of meat. I think of "rack" as in lamb, the small defenseless baby animal that gets slaughtered at springtime. This is a gun-slingers term but Rack also goes with "rack and pinion steering," making it a mechanical term too. This nickname says "I'm gonna pull out some tools and tinker under the hood to get this baby running." Be afraid. And make sure he washes his hands.
TATAs - Kind of a nice way to messa 'round. This is a breezy, rapper, sing-songy word. It should have a dance step named after it. Even a toddler can say it and no one gets hurt. Tata is white bread and white rice soothing, no roughage or fiber to digest. Moreover, the use of simple syllabic names means you can give wide berth to the more clinical and scary anatomical terms that are just plain yucky (cross reference anatomy of the male sex organ). Among men this term is often preceded by the word "bodacious" for some inexplicable reason.
KNOCKERS - Ouch. This one is physical, the kissing cousin to another painful term "Speed Bags." Not good either, think Hulk Hogan. This calls to mind those perplexing old naked granny cartoons in Playboy or Hustler with torpedo shaped mammaries. I also think nostalgically of National Geographic magazine tribeswomen (pre-internet era porn for adolescent boys.) Knockers say, "gravity has taken its toll." It's kind of a caveman term for men at work--not play. Be warned, this is not Olivia Newton John's cheeky "Let's Get Physical." Nothing warm and fuzzy lives in the land of knockers.
THE GIRLS - This term is female retaliation, a smack down at men who, quite perplexingly name their male organs. You know what I'm talking about here, it's the sheer absurdity of pet names like "Big Pete" "Little Winky," "Carlos" and "Darth Vader." This disturbing custom validates the playful "buddy" relationship many men share with their body parts. The Girls is a non-threatening term that connotes comfort with ones own body. Think of the chick flick Bridesmaids and that take-back-the-night lingo that makes us feel all Helen-Reddy-I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar. This is also BFF speak, all cup sizes are welcome here and there's no hint of creepiness or sexism. "I'm taking the girls out tonight," means "I'm going to sport some contour." This is what happens when the old college sweatshirt comes off.
In the interest of brevity, I've left out other classics and potentially denigrating favorites such as jugs, melons, hogans, cans, headlights, fun bags, yabbos and gazongas. And I encourage you to chime in with some suggestions of your own. There's no question that the names for our mammaries are as varied, descriptive and nuanced as the women who own them.
So for every friend- sister- mother- daughter- wife- lover- partner- woman who has removed a lump, gotten a scare, lost a breast, had a mastectomy, taken care of and nurtured someone who has brushed up against the evil of "The Big C" - I salute you. Stay in the race, and keep fighting.
www.leewoodruff.com
Friday, October 7, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Pumpkin Health Benefits
Popular during fall holidays, the pumpkin is one of the most nutritious fruits available. Packed with disease-fighting nutrients, it offers numerous health benefits.
More than just a decorative Halloween candleholder or a pie filling to be eaten only once a year, pumpkin is one of the most nutritional foods available year round. Rich in antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals, both the flesh and seeds of the pumpkin provide many health-boosting nutrients.Nutrients in Pumpkin
Pumpkin is low in fat and calories and rich in disease-fighting nutrients such as:- Alpha-carotene
- Beta-carotene
- Fiber
- Vitamins C and E
- Potassium
- Magnesium
- Pantothenic acid
Health Benefits of Pumpkin
The alpha-carotene and beta-carotene are potent antioxidants found in pumpkin and are pro-vitamin A carotenoids, meaning the body converts them to vitamin A. Vitamin A promotes healthy vision and ensures proper immune function. The beta-carotene in pumpkin may also reverse skin damage caused by the sun and act as an anti-inflammatory. Alpha-carotene is thought to slow the aging process and also reduce the risk of developing cataracts and prevent tumor growth. Carotenoids also boost immunity and lessen the risk of heart disease.The vitamin C in pumpkin boosts immunity, reduces the risk of high blood pressure and heart disease, and regulates cholesterol levels. Pumpkin is also a good source of vitamin E which promotes healthy skin by protecting the body from sun damage and may reduce the risk of Alzheimer's disease and certain cancers.
The potassium found in pumpkin aids in balancing fluid levels in the body, promotes strong bones, is necessary for energy production, and helps to control blood pressure. Pumpkin is also rich in magnesium, which aids the body in hundreds of functions, including promoting a healthy immune system, contributing to bone strength, and normalizing heart function. Pantothenic acid, or vitamin B5 is also found in pumpkin. Vitamin B5 help balance hormone levels and manage stress.
Pumpkin Seeds
While pumpkin flesh is nutrient-rich, pumpkin seeds also contain essential vitamins and minerals. Pumpkin seeds are a good source of vitamin E, iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc, and are an excellent plant-based source of omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids.How to Use Pumpkin
Fresh pumpkins are typically only available during fall and early winter; however, canned pumpkin is just as nutritious as fresh. Fresh pumpkin or canned pumpkin puree can be used to make soups, muffins, breads, puddings, and smoothies. Pumpkin seeds can be eaten as a snack, used to top salads or added to sautéed vegetables. Pumpkin-seed oil can be used in cooking or as a salad dressing.Monday, October 3, 2011
Massage Boosts Immune System
Would you like a good reason to get massage? Besides being a relaxing experience, there are many documented benefits of getting regular massage therapy, but during cold and flu season perhaps the biggest benefit is that massage can boost your immune system. Unlike the immediate relief massage brings to sore muscles and arthritic pain, the effects on the immune system are subtle and develop over time. And while, one massage offers immune system benefits, regular massages show sustained effects when it comes to immune function.
Health Benefits of Massage
- Helps Fight Infection—Massage increases the activity of white blood cells that target and destroy infectious agents. With regular massage, the immune system is strengthened rather than stimulated and it becomes more robust.
- Modulates Immune Function—Massage strengthens the immune system, restoring balance. Massage increases antibody production in immune deficiency and reduces autoantibody production in autoimmune disease.
- Benefits Autoimmune Diseases—Besides reducing autoantibody production, massage reduces the production of pro-inflammatory cytokines, which are responsible for inflammation and pain.
- Reduces Pain in Arthritis---Besides reducing production of pro-inflammatory cytokines such as tumor necrosis factor alpha, massage increases production of anti-inflammatory cytokines, effectively reducing inflammation and pain.
- Reduces Depression—Massage increases the production of both endorphins and serotonin. Increased levels of these biochemicals effectively reduce symptoms of depression and contribute to wellbeing.
- Improved Circulation—By stimulating blood flow to the body’s organs, massage improves circulation. With improved circulation, red blood cells are better able to transport nutrients to the body’s other cells.
- Stimulation of the Lymphatic System—The lymphatic system is comprised of the thymus gland, tonsils, spleen, adenoids, lymph nodes and lymph fluid as well as lymphatic vessels. The lymphatic vessels carry clear lymph fluid that circulates throughout the body, removing waste products, degenerated cells, and accumulations of fats and proteins. Lymph vessels lie beneath the surface of the skin and are stimulated by massage. This results in improved lymphatic circulations.
Physiological Benefits of Massage
- Improves Natural Killer Cell Function—Numerous studies show that massage increases the cytotoxic function of white blood cells known as natural killer (NK) lymphocytes. This results in improved NK cell function including increased resistance to infection.
- Decreases Levels of T-Cells—By decreasing T-cell levels, massage helps restore the natural balance between T and B lymphocytes. This improves the immune system’s ability to produce protective antibodies, for instance antibodies that target infectious agents. Alternately, in autoimmune diseases, a decrease in T-cells helps reduce autoantibody production.
- Increased Endorphin Production—Massage and acupuncture are known to increase production of endorphins and enkephalins. Increased production of these neurotransmitters has a modulating effect on the immune system. Similar to decreased T-cell production, increased endorphins increase the body’s ability to fight infections while improving immune function in autoimmune disease.
- Reduces Pro-Inflammatory Cytokines—Reduces pain and inflammation
- Increased Serotonin Levels—by increasing serotonin levels, massage increases feelings of well-being and alleviates symptoms of depression.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Super Hero Bad Days
Last night I watched X Men First Class. Thanks to having two sons and a husband that all grew up reading comics, I have had some exposure to Marvel super heroes and over the years I came to appreciate them. But last evening as I was watching the movie, I let my mind wander and began to wonder what a bad day would be like for a super hero. Not the kind where the arch enemy tries to conquer the world, but a regular Joe's version of a bad day. You know like rush hour traffic? Jerk boss? Heartache? Normal day to day stressors?
Since X Men is foremost on my mind lets explore this possibility with Magneto, the super villain who can control metal objects. He is not supposed to be likable, but for some reason I really enjoy this character. Maybe it is the British accent, or how he performs his dastardly deeds with such flair, but for reasons I cannot fathom I find him deliciously entertaining. Can you imagine how he would handle a bad driver? I can just see him wrinkling his brow at a punk blasting his rap music and disregarding traffic lights. With the engine whining, the car stops and floats up above the intersection. Magneto floats in front of the car, shakes his head and wags his finger at the driver. When the car starts to compact inward and the driver bails out screaming, Magneto smiles and tells the punk "Next time you will remember to stop, won't you?"
What about Superman being lovesick over Lois Lane? Do you think he might try to drown his sorrow in a bottle of rum and sit at home in his tights for days without bathing? If he climbed in a bottle, would he become a mean drunk and use his super powers just to screw with happy couples? I can see him using his x-ray vision to see what kind of undies the chick had on and advising her date to use protection as she looked like a pro. Maybe crashing a wedding or two and blowing the steeple off the church or flattening the reception tent thus ruining the happy day would help him release some tension. He might even flip them off as he flew away.
Lets not forget the female crime fighter Wonder Woman. Can you imagine what she would be like during PMS? Maybe she would buzz the airport tower in her invisible plane. Maybe she could pop into the Whitehouse, use her lasso of truth and make some of those crooked politicians sing like canaries. When her skin-tight suit was feeling a bit snug due to her retaining water, do you think she would knock over the Hershey's plant, devour 10 lbs of chocolate, put in The Way We Were and have herself a good cry?
How about Aquaman attacking BP for the gulf disaster? Think about all that extra work BP caused him. Spiderman weaves SCREW YOU in a web outside his editor's door after his alter ego is forced to listen to his boss's umpteenth Spidey bashing tirade. Wolverine gets a bad haircut so he practices topiary on his barber. I mean the possibilities are endless.....if you are warped like me.
So the next time you are having a shitacular day, stop and ask yourself WWSD?
Since X Men is foremost on my mind lets explore this possibility with Magneto, the super villain who can control metal objects. He is not supposed to be likable, but for some reason I really enjoy this character. Maybe it is the British accent, or how he performs his dastardly deeds with such flair, but for reasons I cannot fathom I find him deliciously entertaining. Can you imagine how he would handle a bad driver? I can just see him wrinkling his brow at a punk blasting his rap music and disregarding traffic lights. With the engine whining, the car stops and floats up above the intersection. Magneto floats in front of the car, shakes his head and wags his finger at the driver. When the car starts to compact inward and the driver bails out screaming, Magneto smiles and tells the punk "Next time you will remember to stop, won't you?"
What about Superman being lovesick over Lois Lane? Do you think he might try to drown his sorrow in a bottle of rum and sit at home in his tights for days without bathing? If he climbed in a bottle, would he become a mean drunk and use his super powers just to screw with happy couples? I can see him using his x-ray vision to see what kind of undies the chick had on and advising her date to use protection as she looked like a pro. Maybe crashing a wedding or two and blowing the steeple off the church or flattening the reception tent thus ruining the happy day would help him release some tension. He might even flip them off as he flew away.
Lets not forget the female crime fighter Wonder Woman. Can you imagine what she would be like during PMS? Maybe she would buzz the airport tower in her invisible plane. Maybe she could pop into the Whitehouse, use her lasso of truth and make some of those crooked politicians sing like canaries. When her skin-tight suit was feeling a bit snug due to her retaining water, do you think she would knock over the Hershey's plant, devour 10 lbs of chocolate, put in The Way We Were and have herself a good cry?
How about Aquaman attacking BP for the gulf disaster? Think about all that extra work BP caused him. Spiderman weaves SCREW YOU in a web outside his editor's door after his alter ego is forced to listen to his boss's umpteenth Spidey bashing tirade. Wolverine gets a bad haircut so he practices topiary on his barber. I mean the possibilities are endless.....if you are warped like me.
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