Me: "This knot in your neck is related to the knot between your shoulders."
Client: "I thought they were cousins or something."
Client: "Soooo I understand you have gone into full-blown war mode with the raccoons."
Me: "Yup. Got my first confirmed kill."
Client: "I heard! How did you kill it?"
Me: "Well if we had videoed it we would have won Funniest Home Videos for sure. Corwyn was whacking it with this big sword he bought in Spain. I picked up a construction hammer and knocked his brains loose. It was pretty comical."
Client after I gave her a scalp massage: "Oh my! I think that is the best part!"
Client: "You raised your prices....I used to look like a great tipper when I gave you a hundred dollar bill. Now I look cheap!"
Client: "People who don't like dogs, I am always skeptical about."
Me: "Bayer my ass. Massage is the number one pain reliever."
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