Growing up a Southern Belle meant there were certain things in which a lady was not to engage. Sex, obviously. This was a great taboo. "A man will not buy a cow if he is getting the milk for free", "Pure as snow until the wedding night", "Southern men want a woman that looks like a good church lady in the daytime but is a whore in the bedroom". These were some of the pearls of wisdom I heard over the years. In my youth I followed the rules and was steadfast in believing what my elders had passed on to me. As I grew older and wiser, I began to doubt my moral lessons and would counter with my own questions: "Would you buy a car without test driving it? It may look like a dream but how is going to perform?", "Why would anyone want to be a virgin on their wedding night if the first time is going to hurt?", "Since most experts believe sex is roughly 50 percent or more in terms of importance in a good marriage, wouldn't you like to find out how compatible you are with someone-- before you walk down the aisle?". I never said I was a GOOD Southern Belle...
After I modified my sexual beliefs I began to open my mind to other ideas that might be considered inappropriate for a good Southern Belle's repertoire.....
Like my not being a practicing Southern Baptist. I come from a long line of Bible Beating Baptists who cringe whenever I say I support gay marriage and abortion. My adult open-minded idea of religion is that I respect your beliefs and support your religious freedom, but I would prefer that you keep your beliefs out of politics and not persecute those who do not believe in the same God or religion as you do.
Like swearing. I was taught that it was simply not lady-like to swear. Although my grandmother, a God-fearing-good Christian lady, must have had an "Okay to swear pass" because she said "I'll be shit" on a regular basis and nobody ever thought less of her. I found that dropping the F bomb into a well thought out
speech could really make people understand just how serious I was.
Like speaking my mind. I had been taught it was better to be seen than heard, and brother was I ever doomed to fail this one. So without much thought at all, I tossed this rule to the side and whether someone liked it or not, I told them just how I felt about matters. I also began to really respect others who spoke honestly, who were not afraid to take hits for their beliefs, who did not allow others to define who they were. While I still respect those who subscribe to the "seen but not heard" crowd, I have found it is not so easy for some to respect my views....mainly those who live inside the box.
Who are the box dwellers? They are people taught, at an early age, many of the same things that I was taught. Many of these ideas are great. Respecting your elders. Treating others the way you would like to be treated. Helping those less fortunate than yourself. Being Christ-like. The box dwellers that practice these policies are wonderful people. These boxers are pillars in our community and well-loved by many.
It is the boxers that refuse to be educated that I have issues with. The ones that call themselves Christians but bomb abortion clinics and picket funerals of soldiers. The ones that hate others because their skin is darker than theirs. The ones that hate others who do not believe that marriage is only for one man and one woman. The ones who spout their religious and political beliefs but dare anyone to disagree with them. The ones who read something on the internet or see something on Fox News and accept it as gospel. The ones who find it easier to spew hatred than to find a compromise. The ones who call our president a socialist but gladly stick out their hands for government assistance.
Normally I can ignore the idiot boxers and follow my Southern Belle teachings of being seen but not heard. Alas this week was not one of those weeks; it was a "speaking my mind" kinda week. Monday when I logged into Facebook, I found that a 20-year acquaintance of mine was once again posting vitriol about President Obama. This time, like most, he had copied and pasted a picture and comment from a rabid right-wing website. His status claimed that Obama had ordered Marines in Egypt to not use live ammo to protect the embassy. In the past I had ignored his birther, Muslim, socialist rants but this time I felt compelled to correct him. I responded to his status by stating that Snopes and various other fact checkers had proved that his was a blatant untruth that had been circulated to make the administration look bad. I further stated that there was a lot of crap on the internet that was....crap. I did not call Romney a demon, nor did I put Obama up on a pedestal but I did tell the truth. Apparently this upset the fellow so much that he UN-friended me. The following day his wife had also UN-friended me.
Do I really mind that I lost two friends on Facebook because I dared to have a differing opinion? Not in the least. What I mind is that people feel the need to take a social network and try to make it a political, religious or moral meter. What I also mind is that not once did this person stop to ask himself if what he was posting was offensive or hurtful to anyone--he just assumed we would all be in agreement with his own beliefs. What I mind is that when I dared to point out facts and state that he was incorrect, rather than delete his status or say he had made a mistake, he chose to UN-friend me so he would not have to see anything that might call into question some of the beliefs held in his angst-filled box.
What I did not mind was that when he UN-friended me, he also took the time to delete his copy and paste Obama smear campaign. Heaven forbid anyone see that he had been wrong and that crazy liberal massage therapist was right!
Oh, and while I was chuckling about this box dwelling EX-friend, I might have called his actions wussyfied douchbaggery....I know it isn't very Christ-like but then I never said I was a good Southern Belle.
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