Not So Happy Ending

 Recently my husband and I traveled to California to visit family members and while we were there we decided to have a massage day.  We happened upon a business called Eden Spa and were delighted to find out they were only charging $40 for an hour massage.  We mistakenly assumed that this "clinic" and its "therapists" had to adhere to strict guidelines--like we do in our state.  Imagine my surprise when I found out that certification in California is "voluntary".  Translated, anyone can hang a shingle up and say they offer massage services no matter what their knowledge of the human body is, not to mention their having zero training in such things as cross-contamination, contraindications, ethics and the like.  Had I known California's stance on certification before I paid for our massages, I would not have stepped inside the place.  But I digress.

There was no paperwork to complete prior to our massages and the only question we were asked was if we wanted to be in the couples room or in separate rooms for our massages.  After deciding to go solo I was escorted back to the treatment room.   I noted that the decor was appropriate and the table was dressed professionally.  The girl that was going to give me my massage entered the room and never asked the first question about what type of massage I wanted or if I had any medical issues so I surmised that she had not received formal training and prepared myself to get a relaxation massage....aka the fluffy rub.  When I asked her to give me more pressure, she just giggled.   I then realized she could not speak English very well, if at all.  Yep, it was definitely going to be a fluffy rub.  At the end of my rub she left the room for a few minutes to allow me to get dressed and when she re-entered she cupped her hands and said "Tips?". I couldn't help but think that $40 bargain was not such a great deal after all.

I finished before Hubby did and was amazed to see the steady stream of men that were paying for "massages". It was then that I started to think this business was one of those kinds of massage establishments.  When Hubby came out of his treatment room he handed his masseuse a $10 bill and rather than being appreciative of her tip, she said "Tweenee be bettah".   I guided Hubby out the door as quickly as possible.   When we were safely outside I told my husband of my suspicions.  He said that he did not get that "vibe" at all and his girl even commented on what a gentleman he was.  I chuckled and told him that was probably the code word for happy ending or massage with extras.

Two one-hour massages:  $80.  Two tips:  $20.  The look on Hubby's face:  PRICELESS.