Have you ever left a massage and thought it was just not the type of massage that you wanted? Most of us have and it is not always the massage therapist who is to blame. If we are unable or uncomfortable expressing what we hope to achieve in our massage sessions, then we should not be upset when the massage therapist does not meet our needs. So how do you communicate your preferences effectively?
Visiting a massage clinic can be a bit overwhelming. I mean you are going to let a total stranger touch you and you will not be wearing much, if anything, in the way of clothing. So we have modesty, the fear of the unknown, body image concerns and preconceived notions of a big woman named Helga snapping your spine like a twig.....telling the therapist what you hope to get out of your massage might be one more thing that lands in the pile just outside your comfort zone. If you have lucked up and found a good massage therapist, they should be able to help remove some of your concerns by explaining exactly what you should expect in your massage session and if you are really lucky they will ask you the right questions and get a fairly good idea of what type massage you desire. If you stumbled upon a massage therapist that does not ask you many questions and/or attempt to ascertain important information, then here are a few tips to help you get a better massage:
1. Ask the therapist to explain how they will be draping you. Some therapists use towels, while others use sheets to cover the body--ask if this concerns you. If you are a very modest person you might want to ask the therapist to work through the sheet when they are massaging your gluts aka bottom.
2. Ask about what type of lubrication the therapist will be using during the massage. If you have a nut allergy you should speak up as some oils have an almond base. If you find oil too greasy, you can ask about creams or gels. If you have a sensitivity to smells, ask them to use unscented lubrication. If you are going out after your massage you might want to ask the therapist to not get lube in your hair.
3. If you have a sore spot that you would like the therapist to focus their attention on, tell them. If you know what caused the tension in your body (ex. worked out with weights, pro wrestler, whiplash from gawking at the nudist colony down the street, etc) explain the incident(s) so the therapist can get a better idea of what other muscles might be involved in your discomfort.
4. If you have ticklish spots or have an aversion to being touched in a particular spot, be sure to voice this before your massage starts. I will generally ask them not to touch my tummy....not weirded out by it--just does not feel relaxing to me. If you have a spot like I have, it is best to advise the therapist before they touch it. Trust me on that one.
5. If you bruise easily and think cracking your knuckles is excruciatingly painful, then you should not ask for a deep tissue massage. I have found that a great many people that ask for deep tissue work do not have a clue what a deep tissue massage feels like.... until you introduce them to your elbow and they scream out in pain. If you want relaxation you should not ask for a therapeutic massage or a deep tissue massage. You should probably ask for a Swedish massage aka relaxation treatment or a hot stone massage might help you get your mellow on. If you have a good pain tolerance or you like a good hurt you should not ask for a relaxation massage. You should request deep tissue or therapeutic massage to work your kinks out.
6. Do not be afraid to say something hurts. If the therapist is giving you too much pressure you should ask them to back out and give you less pressure. Sometimes a therapeutic massage can be uncomfortable but it should never get to the point that you feel like the massage is doing more harm than good. The old "no pain, no gain" mindset is wrong. Your therapist should check in with you to ask if their pressure is good, too much, if you need more pressure, etc but if they don't, it falls to the client to correct this matter.
7. Room setting: If you hate the music the therapist is playing for ambiance, then tell them what kind of music you like or ask them to turn the music off. If the lights are too bright, ask them to dim the lights or get you an eye pillow. If the heat on the table is sending you into a hot flash, ask them to turn off the table warmer and uncover your feet. If the therapist is yammering on about what she had for lunch and you just want to hear the fountain and mood music, ask them to not talk to you unless it pertains to the massage. If you feel that the room is chilly, ask for a blanket or have them turn up the temperature on the table warmer and/or thermostat.
All of this sounds like common sense but being mindful of your desires and communicating them can be difficult for some of us. I tell clients "This is YOUR TIME so let me know what I can do to make it great for you." I hope my tips make it easier for your next visit and remember the massage is what you make of it.
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