Dual Relationships

When I was attending massage therapy school I resented having to take Ethics as part of my required courses.  To me, it seemed that if you tried to live your life morally as an upstanding person, then a course on this subject was a waste of time.  On days that ethics was taught, I generally opted to take a mental health day and spend my time elsewhere.  On the few days that I did attend class, I sometimes engaged my instructor in a debate on what really was or was not unethical.  If I was required to be there, I figured I might as well make class time interesting and entertaining.

I think it was safe to say we all agreed that having sexual relationships with clients was definitely unethical.  We all agreed that advertising you were skilled/trained in modalities that you were not adequately trained to perform was also on the no-no list.  Dual relationships were not so black and white to me and I could not help but question how being friendly with my clients was such a bad thing.  The instructor was adamant in her belief that therapist/client friendships were unacceptable, but then she slipped up and revealed that one of her clients had given her a car.  Now I am not a rocket surgeon, but I was pretty sure that my client bringing me a bag of fudge was not remotely close to my instructor getting a car....from her non-friend.  So the great debate was on and it eventually boiled down to her being frustrated and telling me how I ran my practice was up to me.


When I began working my clinical hours at massage school, I decided to test my theory on client friendships. I started out by not talking to anyone unless they initiated the conversation.  I noticed that the clients generally liked their massage but they did not feel a great need to re-book with me.  The clients that I conversed with and showed a genuine interest in, requested me again for their massage appointments.  The fact that I had intimate conversations and connections with clients did not seem unethical and more importantly, it seemed right.  I shared my belief with a fellow student and friend. Several weeks later, my friend commented that she had taken my advice and became friends with some of her clients and it was the best advice she had received as many of her clients were requesting her multiple times too.

Five years later, I still believe in being friends with my clients.  Friends are loyal.  Loyal friends/clients will return to you and they will give you great word of mouth with their friends and relatives.  My business is successful largely due to my "unethical" relationships.  But I still didn't get a car.......