The Code of Granny

When I was a child I was the pickiest, most finicky eater on Earth.  My grandmother, God love her, was the best cook EVER and she loved to spoil her grandkids.....meaning she played short-order cook when we were lucky enough to spend a night at her house.  Granny told me that she didn't mind cooking things for me, but I should not expect everyone to cater to me.  Then she told me that when she was a little girl, her mother had "spanked her behind" for telling their hostess that she didn't like a dish that she had prepared and how it was considered horrible manners to not eat what was served to you.  I took this wisdom (what I like to refer to as The Code of Granny) to heart but knew that was only a rule for other places I visited--certainly not at Granny's house.  Even when I was an adult I could still call my grandmother and say I was free for the evening and would love to come for supper.  Then of course I placed my order for one of my favorite meals and  magically upon my arrival,  I was served my custom-made gourmet delight.

  **Disclaimer:  Proper manners, according to The Code of Granny, dictates that you will probably not want to do as I did and invite yourself for dinner**

Over the years I followed this chapter of The Code of Granny with the utmost sincerity.  I was forced to endure many hardships.  Brussell sprouts, broccoli, oysters....  Watching your mother eat escargot is something nobody should ever have to witness.  Calf fries were served to me in disguise.  They were breaded and fried to look like skinless chicken breasts, then carefully concealed in white gravy.  After a few bites, Granny revealed her trickery and cackled.  I felt like Snow White after the old hag tricked her into eating the poison apple.

When I had children of my own, I made them disciples of The Code of Granny too.  They ate what was put in front them and were taught to say "please" and "thank you" and for the most part they made me proud.  Ah, but the honesty of children can sometimes be seen as something less than perfect.  Like the birthday party when my 5 year old opened a present and declared that the overalls he had just received were for babies and he was not a baby and was not going to wear said baby clothes.  After apologizing profusely to the gifter, my husband and I gave the boy a lecture on what his proper response should have been.....according to The Code of Granny.  His dad told him how rude he was and how he had hurt the woman's feelings and in the future if he opened a box that was full of dog poo, he should say "Thank you and that's just what I wanted".  Like me, the child took these words of wisdom to heart and in turn gave us a funny Christmas story we like to share with others.

Christmas arrived about 6 months after the birthday faux pas.   My mother had bought the child a miniature UK basketball and goal.  Finding a box large enough to fit these items in proved to be a tad difficult so Mom opted to wrap them in a box that had originally contained a round spice rack.  We all watched as the kids tore into their packages and expressed their appreciation.   Then came my son's turn to open his present from his Nana.  He tore the wrapping paper off and looked at the box displaying a picture of a spice rack and promptly exclaimed  "A spice rack!  And I've been wanting one of those!".  I smiled with great pride as I knew The Code of Granny was still going strong.