Is That You, Uncle Ted?

When I was a young girl,  my father took me and my sister swimming several times each year.  We did not have a lot of  money so he tried to keep us entertained with wallet-friendly activities. One afternoon Dad took us to visit with a relative who had a cabin by the river.  Granny, my maternal grandmother, and my great uncle accompanied us on this outing.  I noticed that Uncle Ted laughed a lot and slurred his words and he smelled a little bit like pickles, but since neither my grandmother nor my dad were concerned, I set my sights on getting to the river so I could swim.

My sister and I held adult hands as we made our way down the steep embankment.  Uncle Ted refused help and said he would catch up with us.  My dad and Granny were whispering about something and I could tell Dad was not happy.....but there was swimming to be had!  Granny had each of us by the hand and we were about 6 steps from the dock when we heard a man yelling.  We turned around just in time to see Uncle Ted rolling down the cliff and face-planting into the river.  Dad rivaled Superman as he ran into the water to help Uncle Ted, but in Dad's heroic efforts he failed to notice that when he fished Uncle Ted out of the river, that he lifted him up by the legs.... thus leaving the drowning victim's head still underwater.  A quick flip and Dad safely pulled Uncle Ted to the dock so they could see if he was okay.

As you can imagine this was a little bit traumatic for small children to witness.  My sister and I were shaken up so my grandmother consoled us and told us that he was alright and we should not let this ruin our day.  I was not so sure about Ted's well-being so I kept nagging at Granny and telling her that I thought he was really hurt.  As I paddled around the dock to get a better look at Uncle Ted, I got a visual confirmation of Uncle Ted's "injury".

Uncle Ted was sitting on the edge of the dock with his feet dangling in the water.   Apparently when he took his drunken log roll into the river, his boy parts escaped  and were now poking out of his bathing suit trunks for all to see.  I pointed and told Granny "I TOLD YOU HE WAS HURT!  LOOK!". 

I took this picture and for some reason I immediately remembered Uncle Ted's injury....  RIP Uncle Ted, RIP.