TV and Massage

So I was doing an out-call and my client wanted to watch TV while I was massaging him.  Like all good men, he was masterful with the remote control.  My client first stopped on The Travel Channel which is a relatively safe choice.......usually.  But as luck would have it, the sites that the show was focusing on was for the best fertility rites.  That's right, people make voyages all over the world to get "help" with conception.  Sooooo, you wanna talk about some interesting art?  Every time I glanced at the television screen there was a 6 foot tall sculpture of a phallus, complete with the dangling bits, or some large breasted and round-bellied woman chiseled out of a boulder.  Several people were rubbing these sculptures in hopes that they would get pregnant.  I am pretty sure my cheeks were red a few times but I just kept rubbing and trying to stifle my laughter.

The next television selection was The Animal Planet.  Another fairly safe choice......usually.  But this particular episode focused on animal mating rituals.  I got to see monkey love, a snake ball aka orgy, and turtles doing it as only turtles can.  I saw a polar bear's girlie bits and  I saw a male elephant shoot a load of semen that could easily have turned a blue SUV into a white one.   Suffice it to say that I was more than enlightened by the end of that show.

Now I am no prude and at no time did I feel like my client was trying to be inappropriate, but I can honestly say this was one of the more colorful and hilariously uncomfortable massage sessions I have ever been part of.