Ever wish that your spouse or significant other would give you a massage? You are not alone. The truth is that a lot of women secretly desire their husbands to learn to give them a good massage and a large number of men say they would rather pay someone to give their women massages. This does not in any way mean that there is not a loving commitment in a relationship, it just indicates that women and men do not see things identically.....you know the ole Venus and Mars scenario?
Some women fantasize about the candlelit, warm oil, intimate massage. Others have wrestled kids, career and household chores and simply want to have some of those tension spots worked out. Migraine headaches require quiet, dark and cool rooms, but occasionally a few hair tugs partnered up with gentle massage to the neck and scalp can go a long way toward pain relief.
Men tend to want to give women what they need, but when they get a massage request they do not see this as a feat they can tackle and achieve optimal results. Men see a stressed partner and want to help but think that she would get the best care from a professional. And let's face it.....men are visual creatures and seeing the object of their desires wearing very little-- if any clothing stokes up the passion flames. Not that this is a bad thing! Speaking from experience, even though my spouse is a massage therapist, when he gives me a massage I sometimes feel like my naked body on a massage table is equivalent to crab salad on a Ritz cracker---just an appetizer before the next course!
So what is a couple to do?
Try a couples massage session. This is a great way to share intimacy and get a good massage for both parties. If you are not too much into your own mellow, you can watch your mate get massaged and learn a few tricks of the trade that you can try at home.
Get a home visit/traveling massage therapist. This is a great way to surprise your mate and have access to your own shower after the massage. Your significant other can assist the therapist for more intimacy or they can watch the kids so you can truly relax and unwind.
Take our class, How To Massage Your Partner 101. This class teaches the basic massage strokes and how to use lubricant without leaving your client feeling like they just took a bath in balsamic dressing. We can teach the basics for massaging feet, backs, neck and shoulders and scalps in about 2 hours. We also offer a class that teaches basic yoga poses and stretching with a few massage techniques tossed in for good measure. Either class is a fun time with long-lasting healthy interactions.
If none of these options appeal to you, give a massage gift certificate. I promise your loved one will not be disappointed too much and I guarantee they will feel a lot better after their massage. I like to think of this option as paying it forward. The gifted will feel great, think more kindly toward you and subsequently life will be a tad easier as a result of your magnanimous gesture.
No more excuses. Get busy and massage somebody! Even if you are not as awesome as the therapist your spouse saw in the five-star spa in Aspen, the effort will get you an in-house superstar rating. Who knows....you might just be a natural and the next time you want to do something special for your honey, instead of burning a salad you could rub her the right way for a change.
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