Client: I used to see a Russian lady in Nashville and she was small like you, but she had a strong grip....I think you have her beat.
Client: That could not have been an hour!
Me: It's the fastest hour of your life, huh?
Client: I think you had one hand on my back and the other hand was changing the clock.
Text Message: Hey when is your next opening? I am getting my new boobs next week!
Client: Christ what is that?
Me: Been shoveling snow today?
Client: Yes I have.
Me: There's your answer.
Client: If you were a man I would ask you to marry me.
Me: Yeah, I apologized for my full-blown bitch mode today.
Client: Just today?
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