The Code of Granny

When I was a child I was the pickiest, most finicky eater on Earth.  My grandmother, God love her, was the best cook EVER and she loved to spoil her grandkids.....meaning she played short-order cook when we were lucky enough to spend a night at her house.  Granny told me that she didn't mind cooking things for me, but I should not expect everyone to cater to me.  Then she told me that when she was a little girl, her mother had "spanked her behind" for telling their hostess that she didn't like a dish that she had prepared and how it was considered horrible manners to not eat what was served to you.  I took this wisdom (what I like to refer to as The Code of Granny) to heart but knew that was only a rule for other places I visited--certainly not at Granny's house.  Even when I was an adult I could still call my grandmother and say I was free for the evening and would love to come for supper.  Then of course I placed my order for one of my favorite meals and  magically upon my arrival,  I was served my custom-made gourmet delight.

  **Disclaimer:  Proper manners, according to The Code of Granny, dictates that you will probably not want to do as I did and invite yourself for dinner**

Over the years I followed this chapter of The Code of Granny with the utmost sincerity.  I was forced to endure many hardships.  Brussell sprouts, broccoli, oysters....  Watching your mother eat escargot is something nobody should ever have to witness.  Calf fries were served to me in disguise.  They were breaded and fried to look like skinless chicken breasts, then carefully concealed in white gravy.  After a few bites, Granny revealed her trickery and cackled.  I felt like Snow White after the old hag tricked her into eating the poison apple.

When I had children of my own, I made them disciples of The Code of Granny too.  They ate what was put in front them and were taught to say "please" and "thank you" and for the most part they made me proud.  Ah, but the honesty of children can sometimes be seen as something less than perfect.  Like the birthday party when my 5 year old opened a present and declared that the overalls he had just received were for babies and he was not a baby and was not going to wear said baby clothes.  After apologizing profusely to the gifter, my husband and I gave the boy a lecture on what his proper response should have been.....according to The Code of Granny.  His dad told him how rude he was and how he had hurt the woman's feelings and in the future if he opened a box that was full of dog poo, he should say "Thank you and that's just what I wanted".  Like me, the child took these words of wisdom to heart and in turn gave us a funny Christmas story we like to share with others.

Christmas arrived about 6 months after the birthday faux pas.   My mother had bought the child a miniature UK basketball and goal.  Finding a box large enough to fit these items in proved to be a tad difficult so Mom opted to wrap them in a box that had originally contained a round spice rack.  We all watched as the kids tore into their packages and expressed their appreciation.   Then came my son's turn to open his present from his Nana.  He tore the wrapping paper off and looked at the box displaying a picture of a spice rack and promptly exclaimed  "A spice rack!  And I've been wanting one of those!".  I smiled with great pride as I knew The Code of Granny was still going strong.

Dual Relationships

When I was attending massage therapy school I resented having to take Ethics as part of my required courses.  To me, it seemed that if you tried to live your life morally as an upstanding person, then a course on this subject was a waste of time.  On days that ethics was taught, I generally opted to take a mental health day and spend my time elsewhere.  On the few days that I did attend class, I sometimes engaged my instructor in a debate on what really was or was not unethical.  If I was required to be there, I figured I might as well make class time interesting and entertaining.

I think it was safe to say we all agreed that having sexual relationships with clients was definitely unethical.  We all agreed that advertising you were skilled/trained in modalities that you were not adequately trained to perform was also on the no-no list.  Dual relationships were not so black and white to me and I could not help but question how being friendly with my clients was such a bad thing.  The instructor was adamant in her belief that therapist/client friendships were unacceptable, but then she slipped up and revealed that one of her clients had given her a car.  Now I am not a rocket surgeon, but I was pretty sure that my client bringing me a bag of fudge was not remotely close to my instructor getting a car....from her non-friend.  So the great debate was on and it eventually boiled down to her being frustrated and telling me how I ran my practice was up to me.


When I began working my clinical hours at massage school, I decided to test my theory on client friendships. I started out by not talking to anyone unless they initiated the conversation.  I noticed that the clients generally liked their massage but they did not feel a great need to re-book with me.  The clients that I conversed with and showed a genuine interest in, requested me again for their massage appointments.  The fact that I had intimate conversations and connections with clients did not seem unethical and more importantly, it seemed right.  I shared my belief with a fellow student and friend. Several weeks later, my friend commented that she had taken my advice and became friends with some of her clients and it was the best advice she had received as many of her clients were requesting her multiple times too.

Five years later, I still believe in being friends with my clients.  Friends are loyal.  Loyal friends/clients will return to you and they will give you great word of mouth with their friends and relatives.  My business is successful largely due to my "unethical" relationships.  But I still didn't get a car.......

Deja Vu

This weekend one of my quasi  hippie gal pals and I ventured out into the blizzard to attend a mystical paranormal fair.  On my way there I couldn't help but wonder if these mystics, who were so in touch with the unknown, could have planned the event on a day without a snow advisory.  I also had to chuckle when my friend's husband asked if we had ever questioned why we had never heard about a psychic picking the winning lottery numbers.  So, yeah, I knew the odds of us receiving some mystical revelation was slim to none, but I figured it would be an interesting outing nonetheless.

After paying a $5 entry fee and receiving a pamphlet outlining the ESP du jour, our great adventure began.  The receptionist told us that if we were unsure what therapy or reading we wanted to experience, we should roam the hallways until we felt "called" to a particular person.  Our mystical offerings to choose from were:  past lives and tarot readings, crystal therapies, ghost hunters, mediums, dowsing, clairvoyants, color therapy,  and energy and chakra balancing.  My friend opted for the life path tarot reading and  I felt "called" to the clairvoyant/color therapist.  Unfortunately my mystic had what sounded like a major bad mojo conference going down behind Curtain Number 2 so I had to wait for another psychic to reach out and touch me.  When I didn't get a "calling" I simply chose to try the same reader that my friend had visited.

As I waited for my friend's reading to end, curiosity got the better of me and I eavesdropped on her conversation.....okay not in the sense of it being an illegal wiretap, but I figured if they really were concerned about their psychic secrets getting overheard then they probably should have a real door for privacy instead of a curtain they picked up at Wal-mart.  A great deal of information was shared  between my friend and the reader. In fact, it seemed that my friend had hit the mother lode of fortune telling, so I began to eagerly anticipate what my reading might reveal.

Finally my turn rolled around and I entered the room with both skepticism and excitement.  The skeptic in me refused to let me tell the reader anything important about my life, so I only offered her my name and the name of my business.  After briefly holding my hands, she shuffled her tarot cards and began to read my life path.  With only the information that I gave her, she "saw" a great betrayal that would come to light in 1 or 2 days, a mental illness in my family,  and that my business was going to prosper.  She said yoga was going to become an important part of my business (which we just added 3 weeks ago) and she saw a publication that was going to add to my success.  (For arguments sake lets say she saw my blog)  My reading was quicker than my friend's and I left feeling like I had just blown $15 because I thought the reader was off her rocker about the betrayal -and- anyone with half a brain could guess yoga and massage would partner up successfully. 

Two days after my reading and a great betrayal later, I have to say that I am a believer.  Now if I can find a credible voodoo doll maker........

Quote of the Day

Unlike opportunity, temptation will usually knock more than once.