Client as I am putting his leg into a deep stretch: "You would make a really good wrestler!"
Client explaining pain in her middle finger : "I used to think I had carpal tunnel but now I think I have just over-used it flipping too many birds."
Client: "I am soooo glad to be here!"
Me: "You know, I get that a lot and I am not quite sure why."
Client: "What's been going on with you since I was here last?"
Me: "I ran my first marathon this week."
Client: "YOU DID? THAT'S AWESOME!"
Me: "Are you kidding me? I am on my third donut today."
Client: "Do you get massages from your husband or do you see someone else?"
Me: "For the most part I see my husband because he is really good, he's free and I am very hard to please when it comes to finding a good massage therapist. Of course the downside is that when he sees me naked on a massage table he assumes it is foreplay."
Client laughing: "Kind of like that song.....sometimes a back rub is just a back rub!"
Text Message from client: I bet you were just thinking how much you would like to massage me.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Hindsight is 20/20
Yesterday my husband and I popped into Walmart to grab a few household items. As we walked by the candy aisle I had an internal dialogue with myself about the pros and cons of picking up a bag of Ghirardelli's Milk Chocolate Caramels. In the end the weight-watching part of me won out over the chocoholic me and I secretly patted myself on the back for my strength as I pushed my cart toward the checkout lane.
Later in the evening I had an enormous craving for sweets and told my husband that I would just about kill for some chocolate. He said "Now we were at the grocery store today.... so why didn't you think about it then?" I replied "Well, I did think about it at the grocery store and I showed remarkable strength and will-power by passing it up. Of course right now I am wishing I had been a much weaker person."
Later in the evening I had an enormous craving for sweets and told my husband that I would just about kill for some chocolate. He said "Now we were at the grocery store today.... so why didn't you think about it then?" I replied "Well, I did think about it at the grocery store and I showed remarkable strength and will-power by passing it up. Of course right now I am wishing I had been a much weaker person."
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Too Many Forks and Peter Pan Hats
Many years ago my husband and I decided to take our boys to a really nice restaurant to celebrate Father's Day. Since the boys were six and three, this was going to be an iffy venture, but brave souls that we are, we all donned our finest duds and headed out for dinner.
We were seated in a large room at the rear of the restaurant....guessing the hostess was afraid small boys and fine dining was not a good combination. As we were settling in my six year old noticed the hunter green linen napkins folded into a pyramids on everyone's plates. He excitedly said "Wow! We all get Peter Pan hats here?" Needless to say he was sorely disappointed when I told him it was just a napkin and placed it unfolded in his wee lap.
The youngest boy was taking in all his surroundings as well. He said "Mommy, why did they give me two forks?" Before I could answer him his older and oh so much wiser brother said "In case you drop one, DUH!"
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY and may you always have an extra fork!
We were seated in a large room at the rear of the restaurant....guessing the hostess was afraid small boys and fine dining was not a good combination. As we were settling in my six year old noticed the hunter green linen napkins folded into a pyramids on everyone's plates. He excitedly said "Wow! We all get Peter Pan hats here?" Needless to say he was sorely disappointed when I told him it was just a napkin and placed it unfolded in his wee lap.
The youngest boy was taking in all his surroundings as well. He said "Mommy, why did they give me two forks?" Before I could answer him his older and oh so much wiser brother said "In case you drop one, DUH!"
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY and may you always have an extra fork!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Heard This Week on the Massage Table
Client finishing his cell phone call as he enters my office says "Okay, I have a doctor appointment at noon so I will call you back in a bit."
Me: "You realize that I have to charge you double since you said you were seeing a doctor?"
Client as I am stretching the psoas: "That hurts like hell!"
Client several hours later in a text: "Just wanted to let you know I can bend over and touch my toes, please we have to do that again. First time in a long time I could do that."
Client: "When I was here the last time I didn't think you were pressing down very hard and that I might not feel anything. The next morning I woke up just a tiny bit sore and thanked God that you know what you're doing. If you had mashed harder I would have really been sore!"
Me: "It's awesome that you are able to relax enough to let me really work deeply on those tight spots."
Client: "I can't wait to tell my husband that I do something really well.....how great is it that I can get massages better than other people?"
Client: "I have to ask....why sometimes you work through the sheet and other times you don't, I assume there is a reason?"
Me: "Well, I start out palpating the body with the sheet on so I get a general feel for the body. Then I am of the opinion that leaving bums draped makes people feel less exposed and vulnerable. I mean how comfy would you have felt earlier if I had dropped my elbow right next to your crack without that sheet being there?"
Me: "You realize that I have to charge you double since you said you were seeing a doctor?"
Client as I am stretching the psoas: "That hurts like hell!"
Client several hours later in a text: "Just wanted to let you know I can bend over and touch my toes, please we have to do that again. First time in a long time I could do that."
Client: "When I was here the last time I didn't think you were pressing down very hard and that I might not feel anything. The next morning I woke up just a tiny bit sore and thanked God that you know what you're doing. If you had mashed harder I would have really been sore!"
Me: "It's awesome that you are able to relax enough to let me really work deeply on those tight spots."
Client: "I can't wait to tell my husband that I do something really well.....how great is it that I can get massages better than other people?"
Client: "I have to ask....why sometimes you work through the sheet and other times you don't, I assume there is a reason?"
Me: "Well, I start out palpating the body with the sheet on so I get a general feel for the body. Then I am of the opinion that leaving bums draped makes people feel less exposed and vulnerable. I mean how comfy would you have felt earlier if I had dropped my elbow right next to your crack without that sheet being there?"
Monday, June 4, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
Massage Funny
Last week the topic of massage came up while I was on a girl's trip. Several of us shared stories about our more interesting massages. My mother decided to share her past massage experiences when my husband was her therapist. Mom says "He massages me all around my breast and ribs. He is always asking me if I am uncomfortable or if I am okay with what he is doing. He is really good." My sister cracked "I mean I know we are from Eastern Kentucky.....but that's just weird." Ahhhh family.
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