Client: I think I should like to marry a massage therapist.
Client: You got six pops out of me today. Tell your husband that so he can try to match it next week.
Me: You do realize that if we make it a contest then he is going to beat you to a pulp next week trying to outdo me?
Client: When I come in here and joke around with you, does it annoy you?
Me: Of course not, I like talking and joking around with my clients. If I drop an elbow in you and crush the bejeebus out of you, then you'll know you irked me.
Client: You mean you really aren't going to work this weekend so you can watch basketball? You're just taking the day off?
Me: Great job isn't it?
Me after a massage: She used cypress and oregano oils on me. I smell like an Italian Christmas tree.
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