Super Hero Bad Days

Last night I watched X Men First Class.   Thanks to having two sons and a husband that all grew up reading comics, I have had some exposure to Marvel super heroes and over the years I came to appreciate them.  But last evening as I was watching the movie, I let my mind wander and began to wonder what a bad day would be like for a super hero.  Not the kind where the arch enemy tries to conquer the world, but a regular Joe's version of a bad day.  You know like rush hour traffic?  Jerk boss?  Heartache?  Normal day to day stressors?

Since X Men is foremost on my mind lets explore this possibility with Magneto, the super villain who can control metal objects.  He is not supposed to be likable, but for some reason I really enjoy this character.  Maybe it is the British accent, or how he performs his dastardly deeds with such flair, but for reasons I cannot fathom I find him deliciously entertaining.  Can you imagine how he would handle a bad driver?  I can just see him wrinkling his brow at a punk blasting his rap music and disregarding traffic lights.  With the engine whining, the car stops and floats up above the intersection.  Magneto floats in front of the car, shakes his head and wags his finger at the driver.  When the car starts to compact inward and the driver bails out screaming, Magneto smiles and tells the punk "Next time you will remember to stop, won't you?"

What about Superman being lovesick over Lois Lane?  Do you think he might try to drown his sorrow in a bottle of rum and sit at home in his tights for days without bathing?  If he climbed in a bottle, would he become a mean drunk and use his super powers just to screw with happy couples?  I can see him using his x-ray vision to see what kind of undies the chick had on and advising her date to use protection as she looked like a pro.  Maybe crashing a wedding or two and blowing the steeple off the church or flattening the reception tent thus ruining the happy day would help him release some tension.  He might even flip them off as he flew away.

Lets not forget the female crime fighter Wonder Woman.  Can you imagine what she would be like during PMS?  Maybe she would buzz the airport tower in her invisible plane.  Maybe she could pop into the Whitehouse, use her lasso of truth and make some of those crooked politicians sing like canaries.  When her skin-tight suit was feeling a bit snug due to her retaining water, do you think she would knock over the Hershey's plant, devour 10 lbs of chocolate, put in The Way We Were and have herself a good cry? 

How about Aquaman attacking BP for the gulf disaster? Think about all that extra work BP caused him.   Spiderman weaves SCREW YOU in a web outside his editor's door after his alter ego is forced to listen to his boss's umpteenth Spidey bashing tirade.  Wolverine gets a bad haircut so he practices topiary on his barber.  I mean the possibilities are endless.....if you are warped like me.

So the next time you are having a shitacular day, stop and ask yourself WWSD?