Saturday, September 26, 2015

Heard This Week on the Massage Table

Client:  "You know how old Obama looks now as compared to when he was first in office?"
Me:  "Yes!  All the presidents look so old by the end of their terms."
Client:  "And George W looked so old too!" 
Me:  "You're right.  And now that he is retired and painting...look how happy and relaxed."
Client:  "Well, if for no other reason.....you see how old and how bad Obama and Bush look, so do     you really want to see Hillary Clinton get in and watch her get older?"


Me:  "That is some kinda knot you have here."
Client:  "That's my effin mattress." And as an afterthought "Oh! Pardon Me for saying effin!"


Client:  "Damn."
Me:  "Is something wrong?"
Client:  (Laughing) "I am cursing myself for only taking the 60-minute massage when I could have done 90!"


Me:  "I was asked what my worst massage experience was."
Client:  "Oooo that sounds good!    ....unless I am the worst?"