Hidden Camera Massage

We secretly replaced the massage table with a large piece of lumber......let's see if he notices.

Heard This Week on the Massage Table

Client Text:  So I thought it was funny, I had a dream the other night that I came for my massage and you were just hanging out talking and said you forgot to put my appointment in.  Then laughed about it and told me you couldn't get me in for another month.  Haha.  I woke up and laughed.  More like a nightmare with the way my back is right now.



Client Text:  Crazy question.  What determines if u get white or brown eggs?
Me:  Lol breed of chicken
Client:  Not the color of the chicken?  Have a bet going
Me:  Nooooo city boy



After a "lively" facebook discussion about how much I hate Groupon, I received this text:

Client Text:  Hey Kim, I know it's short notice but when can you work me in?
Me:  Fri at 3:30?
Client:  I'll be there.  Groupon discount?
Me:  Lmao cya then!



Client:  Well the truth is I always wanted to see you, but it is next to impossible to get in with you last minute!  If you give me a set time and day I will be here!



After discussing a stylist's connection to a massage therapist I used to work with, this gem occurred:

Client:  Wait.  She's a lesbian?  But she knits all the time.  Does that make me sound shallow that I just didn't see knitting and being a lesbian going together?



Me:  Well I have been studying cranial-sacral therapy.  So far everyone loves it and falls asleep almost immediately. 
Client:  You going to show it to me?
Me:  I will gladly show it to you, but not today.  We haven't seen each other in a month and we have too much chatting to get done.  Next time when we can work quietly.....you are in.



Client:  Look at this picture of me after I had my peel.  I look horrible, like a boxer....
Me:  A boxer that went 6 rounds....

So Says Your Massage Therapist

Kung Fu Hillbilly - Training Video

Healing Hands now offers individual and group self-defense classes.  Please don't try this at home!